


What If We Ruin It All And We Love Like Fools

by hopeinyourheart



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-06-22 05:53:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15575187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeinyourheart/pseuds/hopeinyourheart
Summary: if quitting on the first day was a requirement every single one of them would pass, but it isn't so instead they're suffering in college.or footballers go to college and hate it but find love regardless.





	1. Chapter 1

Marco's head is ready to fall off his shoulders at this point. The music is thumping so loud it feels like the speakers are sat under his skin which is overheated and is melting off his bones. His throat is dry even though he poured nearly an entire bottle of too strong alcohol down his throat. Marco doesn’t know what it was but it was good.

He pushed through the throngs of people in the hallway and nearly gags at the sight of two people making out. He gets into the kitchen and scouts the place for a beer which he finds in the oven. Marco isn’t going to ask questions, he going to take two beers out to the front porch and sit in the cool air for a while.

He pushes back through the people in the hall and out the front door and when the cool air hits his skin he nearly faints in relief. He stretches his arms and slumps against the porch railing looking out across the lawn which is clean and mowed. If Marco drowned out the blaring coming from inside, everything would almost seem peaceful and perfect. He places one of the beers on the table and twists the cap off the other before downing its contents. It’s not cold so it tastes nasty but Marco doesn’t even care at this point.

In the next second the door is flung open and someone with brown hair falls through barely catching his balance. Marco looks at him and the guy looks tipsy and sweaty and shocked when he finally notices Marco.

Marco smirks at him and offers him the other beer which he takes clumsily nearly knocking the bottle out of Marco's hand. “Too hot in there,” the guy says struggling to flick off the cap. Marco stretches his hand out to help him. The guy blushes as he hands it back.

“I’m Mario,” he supplies.

“Marco,” he says giving the bottle back.

Mario nods before he takes a sip.

“What you doing out here?” Mario asks, leaning against the porch railing right next to Marco.

“Nothing, cooling down,” Marco says looking in his direction. He has brown eyes and chubby cheeks and pink lips and his skin looks so soft. Marco is very drunk. “You?” he asks clearing his throat.

“They’re trying to pour beer down my shirt cus I be on my phone too much which is not true because I'm not. I be on my phone just a right amount like a normal person, y’know. What even is the right amount to be on your phone?” he trails.

Marco laughs and shakes his head. “I hate parties,” he says instead, because he’s drunk and he does and he only came because he got dragged here.

“Why’d come then?” Mario slurs taking a sip of the beer.

“Came with my friend Lewy said it’d be good to mingle before the first day of college. Im pretty sure it was a bad idea. What about you?”

“I came with Andre, we went to school together and now college together, and we also thought it’d be good to mingle before college but really, we came for the free alcohol.”

Marco doesn’t know if he’s talking a lot because of the alcohol but he has a feeling he never shuts up even if he is sober.

“Good enough reason,” Marco tells him before the door is flung open and someone yells, “come on Mario they’re playing our song, you’ve got to dance with me,” as they drag him back inside by the material of his shirt.

It's 2am, Marco is tired and he wants to leave but he doesn’t want to leave Lewy here alone and he really doesn’t want to go back inside to find him. Marco slumps against the railing and texts Lewy to meet him on the porch, it takes him thirty minutes to make an appearance.

“Let’s go,” Marco says. Lewy nods and they walk back to the dorms tipsily, leaning on each other for support.

*

Mats' roommate crashes through the door of their dorm clumsily, limbs flailing and coffee cup barely staying in his hands. He trips over the threshold and Mats is amazed the coffee isn’t all over the floor as he watches him struggle with the straps of his backpack as they slide down his shoulder. He has a bakery bag of something that smells overly sweet and it makes Mats' stomach grumble.

Mats is about to get up and help when he somehow majestically manages to get his coffee and bag of sugary goods onto the desk before he flings his backpack onto the bed. Which is a miracle seeing as a moment ago he was ready to trip over his own feet.

“Hi,” his roommate beams at him, “I'm Benni.”

Mats has to take a second to breathe because his smile is blinding and bright and he eyes scrunch up and he looks cute? Mats has never thought anyone looks cute before. Benni bounces across the room with too much energy and enthusiasm and holds his hand for Mats to shake.

“Mats,” he supplies taking his hand and shaking it.

“Mats,” Benni says, shaping the words in his mouth like he was learning. Mats smiles at him.

“Want a chocolate muffin,” he asks. Mats nods his head and watches Benni walk gracefully across the room to grab the bag and the coffee. Benni offers him the bag before he relaxes back on Mats' pillows apologizing for not getting him one too.

“It’s fine,” Mats tells him, breaking off some of the muffin and chewing on it slowly. “So uh...what class are you taking?”

Benni bites right into the muffin. Benni waves his hand around making him look tiny and confused and his eyes get wide as he tries to swallow quickly around the bite. Mats laughs at him; a full-on belly laugh that brings tears to his eyes. Benni shoves Mats in shoulder, finally managing to swallow the bite-ful before he laughs, head thrown back, eyes shining bright. Mats looks at him, sobering up as his heart skips a beat.

“Good muffins,” Mats says when Benni calms down enough. Benni giggles in agreement,  wiping the moisture from his eyes. “I'm uh...taking english literature”, Benni says shyly, gaze down like he’s embarrassed and suddenly Mats knows he never wants to see him as anything but happy and bouncy and full of life.

"You," he asks. 

“Engeering,” Mats tells him.  

"That's so cool," Benni exclaims with a beaming smile that makes Mats' heart pound.

Coming to college was the best decision Mats ever made.

*

“Want some?”

“Huh?” Loris zones back in to Dejan shoving cornflakes in his face. It was eight in the morning and the only sufficient thing at this time was coffee and lots of it. Dejan was munching on dry cornflakes in the middle of their class. He had a bowl and everything. Loris stopped asking questions the second hour of meeting him.

Loris shakes his head or at least tries too but moving at this time of the morning was also a no. He leans his head on his hand and watches the people at the front of the class. One of them was loud, too loud for Loris' poor brain first thing in the morning. Damn the person who made morning classes. And the professor was late. It’s the first day of college, he wonders if it's too early to quit.

Miss way too loud is talking about social media and some 'fake ass' person. Loris needs coffee. Now.

The rustle of dry cereal over the exclaiming makes Loris's head pound and the lesson hasn’t even started yet. Loris sighs and puts his head down on the table; forehead digging into the edge and closes his eyes for a few minutes. Dejan pats his head after a while, “Wha-?" Loris grumbles.

“Prof's here,” Dejan supplies, too awake.

Loris scowls and lifts his head stifling a yawn. The group of overly loud people at the front split and take their seats and Loris thanks the deities that they’ve shut up. Dejan's still eating his dry cereal while the professor writes his name across the board.

‘Mr Low’ it reads.

“Number one rule,” his voice booms across the room, quieting the murmurs completely and Loris knows none of them were going to catch a break in this class. Dejan even stops crunching on the cereal, spoon clanging against the ceramic, “I do not tolerate lateness,” he emphasis the ‘not’ by somehow making his tone sharper but as soon as he says it someone flings open the door all chill nonchalance and easy smiles.

“You're late,” Low snaps angrily.

The guys grins at him, fucking grins. Loris wonders if he has a death wish as he sits up straight in his chair, interest peaking slightly.

“Explain yourself.” Low is not taking any of his shit

“What can I say prof, it’s the way of the universe y’kno.” Everyone in the room snickers. He even has the audacity to smirk.

“The way of the universe?” Low echoes.

“Yeah prof,” he’s leaning against the wall like he owns the place. He’s wearing black sunglasses and his hair is styled immaculately, not even a strand out of place. His dark black t-shirt is clinging to his muscles in all the right ways.

Low nods. “Ok then, if being late is the way of the universe than I want an essay on the effects of tardiness by the end of the day. Eight thousand words at least, properly cited."

Mr perfect hair actually sniggers, “chill out prof, being too uptight will make you age earlier.”

The class laughs at that. “I like this one,” Dejan says in Loris’ direction.

“Think he’s got a death wish,” Loris grumbles as Low tells the too cool for school guy to sit down with gritted teeth.

Sunglasses dude swaggers across the room like he has all the time in the world and dumps himself in the empty seat on the opposite side of Loris. Great Loris thinks, just great. There were plenty of empty seats scattered around the room, why did he have to sit right next to Loris.

Low pulls out a register before he starts listing off his rules again and apparently ‘Mr too tight shirts’ last name is 'Can'.

Loris spends the rest of the lesson staring at the chalkboard and half listening to Low tell them what they need to do for credits as he talks about sports therapy like it’s the most important thing on earth with the most boring droning tone Loris has ever heard.

He does not keep glimpsing at ‘Mr muscles' biceps from the corner of his eye.

*

The first day of college starts off as a disaster. Max wakes up way too late with a pounding headache and the sun glaring into his eyes. Max groans in pain and shoves his face into the pillow mourning every decision he's ever made before he miraculously remembers what day it is and springs off the bed in search of his phone. The movement makes him light headed as digs through his jeans pocket for his phone.

“Shit,” he exclaims into the room as he slumps onto the edge of the bed. His alarm went off an hour ago and now he only had half an hour to make it his class. He was so screwed. And he needed to shower. Max runs a hand through his hair, before he reaches behind him and shoves Leon in the ribs “hmgh,” Leon grunts not even opening his eyes.

“We're late,” Max grumbles, forcing the words past the scratchiness in his throat.

Leon doesn’t move so Max shoves him in the ribs, “wake up, we've got 30 minutes and you've got to shower.” Max tells him before he stretches and tries to make an attempt of looking half decent. Drinking before class the next day was a bad idea. Scratch that drinking period was a bad idea.

Leon is still sprawled on the sheets when Max finishes. Max shakes his head and throws his towel at him. Leon stretches and rises and grins at Max on his way to the shower.

He has ten minutes to get to class so he makes some sort of attempt at grabbing the stuff he needs which ends up being his phone, wallet and a pen. He doesn’t even know what he needs so it’s the least he can do. At this point he was past caring. if quitting on the first day was a requirement Max would pass with flying colours but it isn't so instead he has to suffer. 

He'll never know why he chose to come to college but he figured looking like he had his life together would help him out a tiny bit but he also knew he wasn’t going to survive college for longer than a week; he was fine with it.

He leaves the room, making his way out the dorm and towards the campus thinking about going straight back to bed in a couple of hours but until he did his best to keep his eyes open.

He finds his class twenty minutes late and gets glared at by the professor but he can’t find it in him to care. He sits down at the back of the class near a dude that looks just bad as him. Max thinks he recognizes him from the house party last night. He could swear a bunch of people were trying to pour beer down his throat but everything was fuzzy. He leans his head back against the wall behind him and hears the word stock market once.

“Mario,” the guy next to him says after a while with a scratchy voice and when he smiles Max knows its him.

“Max,” he says stretching his hand out for a handshake.

“Were you at the party last night?” Mario’s grin was all the confirmation he needs.

“Worst decision I've ever made, best night of my life.” Max giggles in agreement, wincing against the ache in his head before there’s a packet of Advil being tossed on his desk. Max shares a grateful smile with Mario and swallows one dry.

“You’re a life saver,” Max tells him.

“Happy to help,” Mario says before the professor is barking at them to shut up. Max shares a glance with Mario and tries not to burst out laughing.


	2. Chapter 2

"HEY MARCO!" Marco turns around so fast he almost ends up in another realm. He takes a minute to steady himself before he looks up to see a short man with brown hair waving manically at him from across the campus ground. 

"Marco!" he yells again running weirdly with his hands around one too many items. Marco is about to step forward and help him when Lewy enters his line of sight, blocking his view of the person who called his name.

"Hi," Lewy grins at him. 

"Hi," Marco says distracted trying to look around Lewy as the person who called him came into sight; his arms are wrapped books and some food that he tried his hardest not to drop. "It's me Mario!" he yells, trying to jog. He was going to end up on his face. 

"Give me a second," Marco says in Lewy's direction, jogging up to Mario and taking a couple books out of his hands, 

"Thank you." Mario is gripping onto his stash of pretzels tightly while clutching the remaining books to his chest. 

"Why so many books?" Marco asks walking with him to the entrance. 

"Business," Mario shrugs simply like it’s the answer to all his problems, nearly dropping everything again but catches himself in time. "I'm heading to the library to work on an assignment and give some of these back. Wanna come?" He asks stopping at the door as he waits for Marco’s answer. Marco turns around in search of Lewy who seems to have disappeared so he nods and follows Mario towards the library. 

Mario slams his books down on the table too harshly which earns him judgemental looks from just about everybody in his vicinity. He shrugs and shares a giggle with Marco before slouching in his seat and closing his eyes for a second. Marco watches him smiling. 

He seemed so different when he wasn’t drunk. A little quieter but still careless. 

"Thought you had an assignment to complete?" he asks making Mario squint open his eyes. 

He makes a noise of disapproval at the offending question. Marco holds his hands up laughing quietly as Mario pulls his laptop out of his bag and starts it up; the startling sound of it earns him more judge-y looks that he shrugs off. 

"you not got anything to complete because if you don't I'm jealous and this friendship is over." Mario tells him with a smirk. Marco laughs. 

"I do, urgh this is the worst part of college." Marco sighs dramatically. 

"What class are you even taking?" 

"Accountancy. It fit around the football schedule and that's all i care about so...," he shrugs and Mario raises an eyebrow at him.

"Are you even good at math?"

"Not really but i winged my whole life so hopefully no one's going to catch me out. i can get a scout to pick me up for football and then actually be the professional winger i want to be." 

Mario just shakes his head, "I can't believe your turning your dumb luck in a professional career, hope that works out for ya"

"It will."

"You're so cocky. Are you even any good?" 

"I'm the greatest Mario," he says with a huge smile. Mario laughs too and kicks him lightly under the table. 

"Shut up and stop distracting me." 

"Want a coffee?" Marco asks and when Mario nods he heads to the canteen and collectstwo coffees and some snacks. When he returns Mario makes grabby hands at the coffee cup eagerly. 

Marco pretends to hand him the cup before pulling it away which earns him a pout and the saddest puppy eyes he's ever witnessed which makes him take pity so he hands the cup over. 

"You're an angel," Mario sighs after the first sip. 

"Well-," Marco start with a smug smile and a shrug of his shoulders. Mario shakes his head and starts highlighting passages of words again. Marco takes a huge gulp of coffee already feeling the headache coming on from the amount of work he had to do. 

"I've got training later," he says after a while of reading words that made no sense. Wanna come?" he asks. 

"Sure," Mario shrugs. They share a smile and spend the rest of the day working in the library. 

*

"Oh fuck," Mats exclaims as he collides straight into Benni who was walking out their dorm the same time Mats opened the door. 

"Sorry," Benni almost yells startled. Mats dismisses the apology with a wave of his hand, bending down to receive the file that had fallen to the floor when he clattered against Benni's chest. 

"In a hurry?" Mats asks him standing up straight again. 

"Kinda," Benni says digging his teeth into his bottom lip. He's nervous Mats realises. Mats has never seen him nervous, not before exams, not giving a presentation, he even talked the professor into giving him an extra week on a deadline flawlessly, Benni didn't do nervous. 

"Where are you going?" Mats asks taking in his appearance. 

He looked good. a tight grey button up shirt clung to the contours of his body, atop tight fitted black jeans. Mats found himself wanting his to run his hands over Benni's skin, peel the shirt off his shoulders to reveal his bare skin and kiss every inch of him. he shakes his head clear walking over to his desk to place the file on. 

"I...uh.. I've got a date," Benni utters nervously. He's brought a hand up behind his head rubbing his hair anxiously and he's looking toward the floor. Mats sits down on the bed, gulps once to clear the emotion from the back of his throat. 

"A date," he beams. "Who with?" he asks too enthusiastically. He really hopes Benni can see past the fake facade and his false enthusiasm, but what is he to do, lock Benni in their room and declare his undying love to him. 

"Ralf," Benni replies with a small bashful smile, the corner of his lips lifting, making his whole face light up.  _You're beautiful,_ Mats thinks. 

"Ralf," Mats asks, "Ralf from engineering?" that guy was a douche. Well Mats didn't actually know him all that well but they shared a class together and he seemed like one. 

"Yeah," Benni breathes, "he's taking me that fancy place in town." 

Mats blinks once. Yep total douche.  

"Is he coming by to pick you up?" Mats asks instead of commenting on Ralf and how he didn't deserve Benni. 

"He said to meet him outside. Shit I better be going," he says as he glances at his watch. "see you in a bit." He hurries out the door, ass looking perfect in his very snug jeans with a small wave and a toothy smile directed at Mats.

Mats hopes Ralf falls in a pothole.

Mats also vows to end Ralf is he so much as harmed a hair on Benni's head. 

*

Max doesn’t see Leon for another week. He's too busy anyway seeing as the first week of college dumped an entire year's workload on them. College was a bitch and Max wanted a three-year vacation every time he had to leave his dorm room. 

He sighs as he stares at the paper, all the words mixing together, barely making any sense anymore. His roommate was asleep. Loris was normal, at least more normal than most of the people on this campus. Max was glad to have a roommate like him because he didn’t ask questions and he didn’t bother Max. He was like a cool older brother. 

Max's phone pings with a message just as he’s contemplating shoving all the papers to the ground and sleeping through the next week, deadlines be damned. It was Leon with a simple  **'** **wanna** **hook up x'**. Max sighs, thinks about all his tense muscles and how he needed to feel better so he shoots back a 'your place' message, puts on his shoes and heads out the door. 

Leon's roommate was hardly ever in so it made it easier to hook up in there. Leon shoves him straight up against the door when Max enters, attacking his neck with a series of kisses, before pulling at his jacket. "You can say hi at least,” Max grumbles as strips, 

"Hi," Leon says, also stripping before throwing Max down on the bed and climbing on top of him. 

Max leaves an hour later, with a smile on his face but an ache in his chest. He doesn’t why. They’ve been casually hooking up for a while now. It was just a bit of fun, but when he looks at Leon's sleepy face eyes half lidded he wants to stay on the bed with him and fall asleep next to him. 

Leon gives him a half smile as Max puts on his shoes before he shoves his face into the pillow and falls asleep. Max leaves the room, heart sinking in his chest. He really had to end this. 

*

The class ends three painful hours later, and Loris is no clearer on what's meant to be happening than he was at the start of the lesson. Dejan shakes him back into existence and when he comes back to reality he notices people filtering out through the door. 

"Wanna grab coffee?"

Loris glares at him like he asked the most stupid question in the history of the universe. Dejan puts his hands up in defeat before picking up his cereal box and heading out the door, Loris following slugishly behind. For a second, he wonders what happened to huge arm guy but then coffee overtakes his mind and Loris would kill arm guy in a second for coffee. 

They trudge out the building and towards the coffee shop on the corner where Dejan lists off their usual order at the counter and Loris slouches down on the couch at the back of the shop. Dejan sinks down next to him and sighs. 

"I hate college so much," Loris tells him leaning his head back against the top of couch. 

Dejan nods in agreement, "Low is a fucking hand-full, no one needs that first thing in the morning," he grimaces remembering all the information he drilled at them and the essay they needed to write for next week. 

Loris hums his agreement looking over at the door when the bell dings as its opened. And in walks none other than sunglasses man (it was October, the sun was not shining bright enough for sunglasses). Loris lets out a breath and prays his coffee is done before he gets a huge headache. He watches him lean over the counter, sunglasses perched perfectly on his head and flirt his order at the barista who blushes profusely and giggles at every second word. Loris hates him. 

"My life goal is to be as cool as him," Dejan says as their coffee is served. 

"That’s not cool that’s bullshit," Loris says picking up his mug and blowing over it before he takes a sip. 

"Nah its cool," Dejan utters pouring two sugar sachets into his cup. Loris tuts at him. Coffee isn’t meant to be sweet, it defied the purpose of it. "You're just jealous." He says stirring his coffee. 

"Jealous?" He asks in disbelief at the exact same moment Dejan says, "Yo Can come sit with us"

Loris wants to strangle him. Mr biceps hesitates for a second before he sits on the armchair opposite them, sprawling out and placing his bun on the table. 

Loris rubs his temples and downs a quarter of his coffee, the liquid burning his throat before he bites into the croissant Dejan got him only then realising just how hungry he was. It was the first  thing he'd eaten since the fries he ate last night for dinner. 

“Emre.” Sunglasses stretches his hand out towards Loris for a handshake. Him and Dejan were roommates which dampened Loris' college experience even further because Dejan was his guy and now he had to see Mr Muscles every time he went over to Dejan's dorm.

Loris shakes his hand which is huge and soft and he wants to trace the lines of them; he gulps and let's go before he utters his own name. 

Emre smiles and takes a sip of his coffee, glancing at Loris over his coffee cup who looks away and bites down on his croissant a little too harshly. 


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey Mario.” Marco flings an arm around his shoulder as they walk into the cafeteria. 

Mario nods back slightly, eyes trained on the food counter at the front. “Ma-ri-o,” Marco sing songs waving a hand in front of his face and giggling when he doesn’t respond. Marco is pretty certain the zombie apocalypse could start right this second and Mario would walk towards it just to get his hands on some food. 

Once Mario gets some carbs, a whole load of sugar, and a salad Marco figures it’s the right time to catch his attention.

“Earth to Mario,” he calls waving his fork in his face. 

“Oh hey Marco,” he mumbles through a bite of food. 

“So, the aliens gave you back then?”

“Huh?” his confused face makes Marco grin as he bites into his sandwich.

“You were miles away. You didn’t even know I was behind you this whole time.” 

“Oh. I was so hungry,” he draws the hungry out for extra effect. “I skipped breakfast which should be a sin. I committed a sin Marco. This morning.” 

Marco just nods slowly. “See you in hell then.” Their eyes meet and they burst into laughter but once they settle down Mario continues devouring his lunch. 

“Are you free on friday?” Marco asks after a while of Mario digging into his fruit pudding and him munching on an apple. 

“Depends,” Mario tells him.

“On what?”

“Your date options.”

“Wha-?” Marco splutters.

“Jesus calm down,” Mario giggles. “You look like you're going to die.”

“I’m-” 

“I’m free Marco. Business can take a back seat for tonight, maybe forever.” 

“I’ve got a game then. It’s important” Marco tells him, rubbing the back of his head as he focuses his gaze on the table, “want to come?” 

Mario watches him fidget. “Why did you get so flustered over the sound of a date and then go all shy and nervous over inviting me your game?”

“I’m not- I didn’t.” 

“You’re blushing Marco.” 

“Just ask me on a date Marco Jesus Christ.” 

“You're so-”

“Yes Marco, I'll come to the football game.” 

Marco just shakes his head. “Save me the best seats though.” 

“Anything for your bossy ass.”

“My ass is great.” 

“Debatable,” Marco counters.

 Mario looks at him under his lashes with a smirk and a shake of his head. Marco grins back. 

*

Mario turns up at the game wrapped in a scarf, two jumpers and an oversized coat. He might have agreed to this but the cold and him were enemies. He doesn’t see Marco before the game but he had text him that he had reserved him a seat in the middle row next to Robert. 

Mario walks over to him and sits down with a small nod in his direction before he introduces himself; offering his hand for Roberto to shake.

“Robert,” Lewy says shaking his hand. “Most people call me Lewy.” 

Mario nods with a small grin, “I've heard a bit about you from Marco.” 

Lewy looks at him then, “what things?”

Mario just shrugs, “that’s he going to buy beer with you, he went to high school with you, just general things.”

Robert nods, “cool,” he mumbles, Mario nods his head once. 

“When’s the game starting?” he asks to fill the awkward silence a little. He'd seen Lewy in passing and heard about him from comments from Marco but he didn’t know him so Mario didn’t exactly know what to talk about. 

“Now,” Lewy says and just like that the players enter the pitch and line-up. Mario watches both teams shake hands and stand around the centre circle before the first kick of the ball. 

“He talks about you too,” Lewy says after a few minutes of focusing on the game. Mario's interest only mainly peaks when Marco touches the ball and sends a cross into the box. He notices how he links up with Salah perfectly. Mario had seen him around campus briefly but didn’t know much about him apart from that he had a perfect smile. 

If Mario wasn’t kind of hung up on someone with blonde hair, he would investigate more into that whole human being but he thinks his dark-haired friend, with the killer jawline and stark blue eyes would probably murder him in his sleep. 

His business degree would be useless then and Mario is not here to waste his time so maybe not. 

Salah was going to have to take a back seat so sitting here in the freezing cold for Marco would have to suffice, he observes.  

“Really?” he asks. 

Robert nods his head. “Like what?” 

He watches the team pass the ball around slowly between the defence for a few seconds. The game hadn’t really picked up yet and if it didn’t soon Mario was going to be mad that he froze for no reason, though seeing Marco in those shorts that defined his bum perfectly was every bonus to the freezing cold, ever. 

“Like totally mushy things about how you're perfect.”

“Shut up,” Mario scoffs and shoves him in the shoulder. Lewy just laughs and Mario laughs back. 

“For real Mario he doesn’t shut up about you. And I see the way you look at him so just ask him out ok.” 

“Marco is dumb,” he responds. 

“Why?” Lewy asks.

“I like to think we're casually dating. I buy him coffee, he buys me coffee, I sit here in artic weather to watch his games, I don’t know why he doesn’t see the meaning of that so I’ve come to the conclusion that Marco is just an idiot but its adorable so I'm fine with it.” 

“You two aren’t-,”

At that minute Max walks over and slumps on the bleachers besides him. 

“Alright,” Mario asks. Mario shrugs and looks like his pet has died. 

Lewy offers his hand and his name and Max gives his back. Mario watches Marco and Mo run down the wings of the pitch where Marco passes the ball to Mo and he drives into the back of the net. The stands erupt with joy. Mario stands up and cheers, his cheeks warming for the slightest second when he sees the proud grin on Marco's face. Max stays slumped on the bench. 

“What’s up with you?” Mario asks him stealing some of his crisps. 

“Eh get your own.”

“Don’t want to. What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Max grumbles. 

“Liar,” Mario nudges him in the arm. “Spill Maxiiii!”

“Don’t call me that.” 

“Not if you don’t tell me what’s up. You look like someone stole your favourite toy.”  

“Leon said he's going to get more snacks but he's been gone forever minutes so maybe he’s fucking the concessions guy.”

Mario just sighs and puts an arm around his shoulder to pull Max closer. “I’m sure he just got caught up in something.”

“Fuck it,” Max sighs in defeat. And hurt. Mario rubs his back and hears the ref blow the whistle for half time. 

Marco runs up the stairs at that point. “You came,” he pants at Mario; sweaty and gleaming.  

“I always come Marco.” Marco nods in agreement. “You alright Max?” 

Mario shakes his head at Marco in indication to leave it. 

“Are you going to score or not in the second half?” Lewy asks changing the subject. 

“Only if you wish really hard.” 

“Oh, come on Marco get a goal for Mario, treat him right on this date.” Mario blushes at that but before he can respond Leon walks towards them with extra snacks. Mario reaches over and swipes a packet of m and m's from his arms and shares them with Lewy. He doesn’t catch Marco’s expression but Lewy smirks at him and Mario rolls his eyes. 

“Hey Marco, good game.” Leon tells him, sharing a handshake before Marco leaves and heads to his half time talk which consists of the coach yelling and then a multitude of hugs. Mario has heard enough times how Kloppo was the best coach Marco had ever had because he understood how Marco needed to develop and was willing to help him. 

It was part of their lunchtime ritual. Mario ate. Marco waxed poetic about his coach. It was a cute little arrangement. 

“Why did you move seats?” Mario hears Leon asking Max. 

Max just shrugs. “What took you so long?” 

“I was talking to Ralle, he has a date with Benni soon and he was nervous. I told he'll be fine and not to worry. Sorry I took forever Maxi.” 

Max doesn’t disapprove that ‘Maxi’ but then again it was Leon and Max looks at him like he single- handedly hung the moon but the two of them were also idiots. If Mario was the intervening type he would scream at them that 'he loves you idiot and he loves you back' but Marco didn’t even understand that Mario ready to date him and instead they were tiptoeing around the subject behind the façade of friendship so really, he had no room to talk. 

Mario sees Max lean into Leon’s warmth and watches the smile bloom on his face and waits for Marco to run out onto the pitch for the second half.  

*

During the second half Marco does score and Mario cheers with his hands cupped around his mouth. When he jumps up off the bench he knocks the packet of something Max was munching out of his hands which earns him a displeased grunt like Mario cares. 

Marco celebrates with his teammates and then points to the stands with a beaming smile and for a second Mario wonders who it’s for. 

“He’s pointing at you,” Lewy says from beside him when Mario sits down again.

“Pttf no he isn’t.” 

“He is.”

“Why would he do that.” 

Lewy just raises his eyebrow at him. “Just ask him out Mario, he isn’t the brightest so help him out ok.” 

“He is an idiot,” Mario concedes to which Lewy just shakes his head. 

“He dedicated his goal to you that’s so cute,” Max declares from the other side of him. 

“It wasn’t for me,” Mario protests in disbelief. “Why would he dedicate it to me anyway?”

“It was Mario,” Max insists digging into a packet of something else. Leon has a protective arm around his shoulder. “Can you just go out already?”  _Says you_ Mario thinks

“You two are the most obvious oblivious people on the planet. He likes you. You like him. Everyone can see it. Including the two of you. Just do something about it.” That was Lewy. And he was right. Mario doesn’t respond so instead he turns his gaze back to the game. The goal couldn’t be for him not when Marco didn’t want this to be a date. Mario just burrows deeper into his scarf and watches the rest of the game play out.

*

Marcos team wins three nil and Mario is finally glad that he can get to a place of warmth. 

“Let’s go,” Max shivers burrowing deeper into Leon’s warmth as they walk out of the bleachers and back towards the dorm. Mario climbs into bed after getting snacks from the vending machine. His roommate wasn’t in so Mario was alone. He opens his laptop and searches for a movie to watch and when he cant find one satisfactory enough he gives up before texting Marco congrats on the win. 

**Marco; Can I come by????????**

**Mario;** **Yh**

Marco is at his dorm forty minutes later wrapped in two scarfs and a beanie; his eyes were barely visible which makes Mario burst out laughing. 

“Shut up Sunny it’s cold.” 

“I know.”

“Then why are you laughing?” 

“You look like a panda,” Mario tells him climbing under the covers again as Marco takes off his coat. 

“Pandas are cute.” 

“But you’re not.” Marco climbs into the bed beside him and puts his cold hands on Mario. 

“Jesus!” Mario yells. “Go away!” Mario shoves his palm against Marco’s face when he tries to get more of his cold body parts on Mario. 

“Nope. What are we watching?”

“Can’t find anything. Marco, stop!” Mario screams when he feels Marco’s cold feet against his own. 

“What?” he asks innocently and when Mario looks at him he bats his eyelashes. Mario really hates him. 

“I hate you.” 

“Keep lying sunny boy.” 

“Who says I'm lying”. Mario puts the walking dead on which neither of them are the least bit interested in but it served as background noise. 

“Coach says if I keep up the good work scouts are bound to pick me up.” 

Mario smiles at him, “That’s good Marco.” 

“Did you see my goal?” 

“Which goal?”

“Asshole,” Marco laughs pushing his cold feet further against Mario’s shins making him yelp. Marco grins in triumph which earns him a pout. 

“That was for you y’know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?” 

Marco shrugs slightly. “I love you Mario,” he says it so simply like he has said it so many times before. “I’m in love with you.” 

“I thought we weren’t even dating.” 

“Yeah we should change that.” Marco shifts his gaze then, “I mean if you want to.” He bites his lips and he looks nervous. Mario had never seen him nervous. It was endearing.  

So Mario slides his hand against the side of Marcos face and leans their foreheads together, “we’ve practically been dating since we met. Of course I want to,” Mario tells him before slotting their lips together. He pulls Marco closer and it feels like he’s done this a thousand times before. It felt normal and real and Mario is finally glad they were kissing. He never wants it to end. 

“But you got flustered over the mention of a date,” Mario utters in confusion. Marco has his eyes down and he's fiddling with the hem of Mario’s t-shirt, “oh my god you were nervous,” Mario suddenly realises eyes wide before he giggles. 

“Shut up,” Marco starts but Mario kisses it off his lips tugging him even closer. 

They pull apart and Mario runs his fingers over Marco’s hair for a while until he dozes off. Mario turns around and Marco slots an arm around his waist. “I love you too,” he whispers quietly with Marco pulling him closer and pressing his lips against the back of his head.  


	4. Chapter 4

Loris tries to avoid biceps dude as much as he can. There's something about him that Loris despises. Every word that comes out of his word makes his head throb and every move of his muscles makes his stomach churn in the worst way possible. It's safe to say that Loris doesn’t like him. 

Avoiding him isn't easy because the universe just had to go and line itself up perfectly by making Sunglasses Dejan's roommate so avoiding him is going about great as Loris finishing his assignments which is in fact not very well at all. 

It’s the start of November and deadlines are piling up for finals and tests and Loris learns best when he bounces off of Dejan. He always has done but when he gets to Dejan's dorm, of course his roommate is there, laying on his bed and throwing a ball at the ball while Dejan talks at him, something about bones and muscles and blood and other sports therapy jargon. Of-course Dejan is now learning material with Mr ‘I don’t care’. They were roommates after all. 

Not that Loris was jealous.

Loris makes himself known by putting his bag down on the desk a little too harshly and the thunk of the ball against the wall stops for all of thirty seconds before it starts up again. "Bought cookies," Loris says to Dejan who drops his pen and every single piece of paper on his knee to the ground just to get at Loris who snickers as he takes his jacket off and places it on the desk chair while Emre comes over and steels a cookie. 

_Those are not for you,_  Loris thinks giving him a tight-lipped smile. 

"S'good," he mumbles. He has no books, or papers, not even a pen indicating he really didn’t care about the upcoming paper. He was on a whole new level of cocky. It made Loris tired. 

Dejan makes an attempt of collecting the items he spilled all over the floor as Loris takes out his own supplies of revision before jumping on the bed beside Dejan. "Where we at?" He asks the same time Biceps starts throwing the ball at the wall again. Loris really wants to march over there, take the ball and fling it out the window, along with Sunglasses himself. 

Dejan catches him up while Loris writes things down and makes an attempt at keeping the information stored in his brain. If only it wasn’t pounding from all the unnecessary noise. The more he listens the more the anger rises and soon Loris can’t take it any longer. 

"Shut up dude!" he yells across the room, face going red as it burned. With anger. And frustration.

He does stop but his fucking face makes Loris want to fling himself across the room and punch him in the nose. 

"Chill out bro," he drawls in that usual cocky tone. 

"We're trying to study," Loris seethes, "not all of us just want to breeze through life, some of us actually care. So, either shut up or get out." 

"It's my room," Emre says tone rising the tiniest bit, "you get out." 

Loris' fists tighten on the papers he’s holding, hard enough to tear them as he stares daggers into Emre's eyes.  He grits his teeth and breathes through his nose, jaw aching from how tightly it was clenched. 

"How can you even stand him," Loris says in Dejan’s direction who's not even bothered that his roommate and best friend are having a stand-off. 

"Hmm," Dejan says dazed. Or maybe hyper focused. 

"Him!" Loris spits waving his hands in Emre's direction who’s getting off the bed and putting his shoes on. 

"He’s not that bad," Dejan says looking up and between them both. "Where are you going he?" asks Emre. Emre doesn’t say anything before he grabs his jacket and slams the door shut on his way out. 

"What happened there?" Dejan asks, chewing on his pen half in concentration. 

"He’s not that bad?!" Loris fumes, "he's a fucking nightmare. I can’t stand him." 

"He’s pretty chill once you get to know him," Dejan says turning back to his laptop. Loris sees how  _chill_  he is and he hates him because of it. Plus he'd known Dejan since they were in high school together. He should totally be backing Loris here. Loris glares daggers into the side of Dejan's head because he was being a bad friend and it was all Emre's fault. 

He angrily goes back to writing notes and not thinking about the way Emre's jaw tightened in anger making it more prominent or the way the muscles in his back flexed when he slammed the door. 

He thinks about the paper. Those are the only muscles he should be thinking about. 

For a second he thinks of the poetic injustice in the situation and then realises that if he connects Emre with sports therapy any longer he’s never going to make it through the year. 

*

Mats hates to admit it but he was hoping the date would be a flop and Benni would return slightly disappointed but fine because 'plenty of fish in the sea' and all that jazz and Mats hoped beyond belief that he was one of those fish. 

Apart from that doesn’t happen. 

Benni returns with a huge smile on his face, gushing to Mats that Ralf was sweet and the date was amazing and Mats really thought about digging the ground up just so Ralf could fall in. 

Mats hates his stupid face and it doesn’t help that he comes over unexpectedly and kisses Benni on the lips, grabbing around the hips that Mats wants to hold. Benni looks at him like he built the whole universe and Mats’ heart caves into his chest every time he sees it. 

“You ok Matsi?” Benni asks him one day. He's burrowed under the covers, hungover from drinks with Thomas last night.  

“‘m good,” he mumbles through the thick duvet. 

“I’ve got you some water,” Benni says softly, “with some painkillers and a muffin.” Mats perks up at the sound of a muffin so he pushes his hands through the duvet making grabby motions for the cake. Benni laughs at him and when Mats looks at him his breath catches. Benni's eyes are shining and his hair is flat and the skin around his eyes and mouth is crinkled. 

“Water first,” Benni hands him the bottle, “sit up, come on,” he instructs, swiping a hand through Mats’ hair, pushing the locks back from his eyes. Mats grumbles but sits up against the headboard, head and body protesting the movement as he takes the glass from Benni and takes a small sip, and another before Benni hands him an Adderall. 

Mats takes a pause from downing the water to stare at the curve of Bennis cheekbones and the angle of his jaw. “Muffin,” he mumbles, making grabby hands again. Benni chuckles handing over the chocolate chip muffin.

Mats loved him so much. 

“I love you,” Mats garbles at him through the bite of food, eyes half closed in content, savouring the taste of the cake. it isn’t until he’s swallowed the bite that he realises what he’s said and his eyes widen. Benni isn’t looking at him but Mats wishes he was because then he would know how much he really meant it.  “You know-,” he waves his hands around weirdly, “you're a good best friend Benni,” he forces himself to say and it hurts to dismiss it. To make the words seem smaller than they are, because Benni was an awesome best friend, Mats could rely him all the time but Mats was in love with him and denying it was killing him but Benni was happy with Ralle.

“I love you too,” Benni says back, coming up against the headboard to sit shoulder to shoulder with him. 

“You do?” Mats asks, hope blooming in his chest and instantly hating himself when Benni says, “Yeah you're the best, best friend i could have asked for,” before he reaches for a bite of Mats’ muffin. 

Mats sighs handing it over and letting Benni eat what he wants and then leaning his head on Benni’s shoulder. He doesn’t know why he asked, maybe the masochist in him is thriving off a broken heart today. “Do you love Ralle?” he finds himself asking, just to drive the knife in deeper.   

Benni hands him the muffin back. Mats doesn’t think he wants it anymore, and his spoiled appetite is confirmed when Benni responds with, “yeah,” into the space between them. Mats lifts his head from Benni’s shoulder, seeing the look in his eyes and the smile alighting his features and feels his heart break more than it already was. 

“You look happy,” he says past the lump in his throat and the emotion burns and makes his eyes hurt and suddenly he wants Benni to leave but more than that he wants to Benni to stay right here against his side forever. Or for as long as he can have. 

“I am,” Benni agrees, bringing a hand up to ruffle Mats' curls. “I'm hungry Matsi, let’s go get some proper food,” he gets off the bed to strip himself of his pyjama shirt and puts on a sky-blue t-shirt and Mats averts his eyes to the stiches of his duvet.

“Ok,” Mats breathes. He could be Benni's best friend forever. It wasn’t a task but seeing Ralf’s highly punch-able face and not punching it would be the hardest task Mats had ever faced.

*

Leon flirts his way through everything.

Max doesn’t care. 

He doesn’t. 

It wasn’t like they were a thing. They hooked up maybe twice a week and spent a lot of time together in between classes and buying coffee but it wasn’t like Leon belonged to him. They weren’t in a relationship so Max doesn’t know why it bothers him. He never even cared to be in a relationship anyway but his gut always twists when he sees Leon walk off with someone else. 

The party they're at is full of people Max isn’t familiar with. He's downed half a bottle of something way too strong but he just wasn’t feeling it. He wanted to go to back to his dorm and climb into bed. 

He thinks if he called Loris he would come and pick him up but leaving Leon here alone with strangers and alcohol didn’t seem like a nice thing to do. Max gets up from the beaten up couch  and makes his way up the stairs towards the bathroom to splash some water on his face and revive his senses when he sees Leon down the hallway pulling someone into a room, smile wide on his face. The person he’s with is clinging to Leon like he’s a lifeline; lips locked and tugging at each-others clothes and they fall through a bedroom door.

Max gulps.

He walks into the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the tub. The breath in his chest feels to heavy as it rattles around his ribcage and his eyes fill with tears but he doesn’t let them spill. Coming here was a bad idea and thinking he didn’t feel anything for Leon was even worse. He pulls out his phone and rings Loris; Leon would be fine, he always was. 

Loris picks up on the forth ring. “Loris,” Max pants down the phone. 

“Wassup? You ok?” he asks a little concerned. 

“I- yeah?” He doesn’t think he could sound any less convincing, “Can you come and get me? I'm at a party.” Max lists of the address. 

“Alright, just stay there I'm coming,” Loris tells him.

Max sits on the edge of the tub feeling pathetic that he couldn’t call himself a cab and get himself back to campus on his own. Loris turns up twenty minutes later, beany covering his hair and he sighs when he sees Max hunched over, “what happened, did someone hurt you?”  

Max doesn’t doubt that Loris would punch Leon in the throat if Max asked him too, he seemed highly protective. “No, I'm just drunk,” Max supplies, hiccupping, 

“You look like you’re going to cry,” Loris says with a raised eyebrow, leaning against the wall. 

Max shrugs, burying his face in his hands and sobbing. Loris sits beside him pulling him into a hug, “Are you sure no one hurt you because I'll beat the crap out of them for you.” 

Max giggles at that as he straights up. “I’m sure,” he says through his tears. Loris hands him a tissue, “There’s a cab waiting outside.” 

Max nods getting to his feet. Outside the bathroom he looks down the hall feeling his heart breaking again. Loris gives him a look but he doesn’t ask any questions as they make their way into the cab. 

In the dorm, Max climbs into bed where he shoots Leon a message saying  **'I don’t think we should hook up anymore. Im done'**  

He throws his phone onto the table and lets the tears soak into his pillows. 

*

“So about last night,” Loris starts when he’s returned from the showers, Max startles where he’s stood finding a t-shirt and some pants to shove on. 

“What about it?” Max grumbles. 

“You’re good right? I mean you keep saying you are but you don’t look it.” 

“I’m fine,” Max mutters. He had too many papers to right and not enough notes so now he was panicking. Leon was going to have to take a back seat for now, they were still best friends so Max couldn’t avoid him forever but burying his head into his multiple deadlines would definetly help him. 

Max shoots a text to Mario asking him if he had some notes he could borrow. “Alright,” Loris says from where he is pen in his mouth, studying something on his lap. Max gets a reply several minutes later with a  **sure** **Maxi** **,** **I'** **ll** **bring them over**. He was glad someone was paying attention. 

Max hates it when anyone calls him Maxi. Leon did it and for some reason he found it endearing and his heart starts aching again when he receives a text from Leon,  **can we talk.**

Max sighs, he really really doesn’t want to have this conversation. He can’t handle seeing Leon right now. All he wants to do is start his assignments and spend the day eating snacks in his dorm room, he was tired of the cheap parties and getting overly drunk every night. 

**I’** **m busy with this assignment maybe later.**

He throws his phone onto the table before reading the small number of notes he had written. Mario turns up at the dorm fifteen minutes later, hair dishevelled with an half eaten apple, a pile of hand written notes which he has photocopied for Max and one Marco Reus clinging to him. 

“Here ya are Meyer,” he sounds too cheerful as he hands the papers over. 

“You’re a fucking blessing I could kiss you,” Max says as looks through the pages of notes. 

“Eh, hands off,” Marco protests munching on a cookie. Max holds his hands up giggling as Mario sprawls on Max's bed taking a huge bite of the apple, the sound filling the room.

“Goretzka's looking for you,” Mario says around the apple in his mouth; Max instantly takes back the kiss offer, not that he ever would, his type seemed to be over tall curly haired boys who didn’t want to be anything more than friends with a few perks every other day anyway. 

Max shakes his head and sighs, “What did you say?” 

“Nothing, told him I hadn’t see you. Are you two good, he looked quite distressed if I'm being honest.” 

Max shrugs focused on reading the papers, “We're fine.” 

“Stop lying Meyer,” Mario pokes him in the ribs from where he’d lied down beside him. 

“We’re good.”

“We saw him walk into that room with a stranger,” Marco shares sheepishly, like he didn’t want to hurt Max’s feelings. 

“He can do what he wants, it’s not like we’re together or anything. I’m not his keeper.” 

“Wait? So last night was about Leon?” Loris asks looking up from the other bed. Max shrugs. “I’m serious Max ill punch him for you.” 

“He isn’t doing anything wrong guys, we hook up occasionally, we aren’t exclusive.” 

“But you like him though,” Mario says like it’s a fact he’s reading off the internet.

“That’s-. No.”

“Don’t lie Meyer. Gosh how can’t that idiot see it, it’s so easy.” 

“Look I don’t want to talk about it. I've got this paper to write and I’m already behind.” 

“Alright but if Goretzka pulls any shit I'm going to personally end him,” Marco declares with a fierce protectiveness in his eyes. 

Max nods succumbing to his fate and rolling his eyes at them. Maybe avoiding Leon would be a little easier with Marco, Loris and Mario acting as his personal guard dogs. 


	5. Chapter 5

“Wake up!” 

“What the-,” Loris yelps clutching at the material of his shirt over his heart, he’s pretty sure he died for two minutes. He turns over, legs twisting in the sheets to see Dejan with tears streaming down his face from laughter as Loris pants heavily from the shock. He manages to get hold of a pillow and aims it at Dejan's face who catches it smugly and jumps onto his bed. 

“I’m gonna kill you,” Loris pants, through jagged his breathing. 

“Your face,” Dejan wheezes through the laughter. Loris kicks at him though it isn’t very effective seeing as his legs are tangled in the sheets and Dejan is half sat on him. 

“Get off me,” he grumbles, tugging at his hair before running a hand over his face. “What do you want anyway?” 

“Urgh you're so grumpy,” Dejan tells him leaning back and trying to poke Loris in the ribs. Loris is going to break his fingers if he even gets anywhere near him. Dejan must read that in his expression seeing as he pulls away and starts rummaging through Loris' desk drawers instead.

“Don’t touch my things.”

“Chill out bro.” Dejan gets his hands on Loris' packet of crisps. It was safe to say Loris was disgusted, it was 10;30 in the morning according to his phone and Dejan was digging into a packet of crisps. Loris needed new friends, immediately. 

“Why are you even here?” He asks again, throwing an arm over his face and yawning. It was Saturday and he wanted to sleep for as long as he possibly could but god forbid. 

“A bunch of us are going down to the lake -,” 

“It’s freezing,” Loris interrupts. 

“A bit of cold isn’t going to kill you.” Dejan is crunching on the crisps and the smell of them makes Loris' stomach churn. It was way too early for such strong foods. “Anyway, we're going and you're coming with.” 

Loris sighs. “I’m busy, I’ve got to pack. And I gotta look for train tickets.” They were all going home in a week's time but he would or say anything to get out of not going because the idea of going to the lake in the freezing cold was not Loris' idea of fun and he wanted no part of it. He wondered if these people had any sanity or if college ruined them enough to turn most of them into idiots. 

“You can start tomorrow and the tickets will still be there when we come back, we aren’t living at the lake,” Dejan starts pulling the sheets back and drags Loris out of bed who groans in reluctance before he stretches as he makes his way towards the bathroom already tired and cold and done with the day. 

*

The lake is freezing as Loris predicted. 

He grabs a beer and walks down the bank towards the edge of the lake where there’s people actually in the water. Loris shudders at them, they were all going to end up with hypothermia; college had most definitely ruined them. He sits down on the blanket someone had thrown down, cold seeping into his pants. 

Dejan seemed to have disappeared somewhere, Loris can't see him anywhere around the lake or in the water. So, he had dragged him all the way here in the freezing cold, miserable weather just to ditch him when they got there. Just great.

Loris curses him under his breath. The lake was full of people from their class and other people Loris had vaguely seen around the campus and their dorms but he didn’t really anyone here not really. Dejan on the hand considered himself a social butterfly so of course he knew about the absurd the lake party that was going to end with Loris being sick for a week. 

This was not his idea of fun. 

“Yo, Loris my man,” Mats yells too loudly, sitting down beside him, a lot more drunk than Loris was. 

“Wassup,” Loris says. 

“I’ve just seen Dejan making out with Mo,” he giggles like it’s the funniest thing ever. 

Loris raises his eyebrow, “So that’s where he’s disappeared,” Loris murmurs. Mats laughs again waving someone over. Dejan had been making fuck me eyes at Mo since the start of the semester and Loris had to watch they're over the top flirting for way to long so it was about time. 

Benni comes over with Ralf and drops himself on the other side of Loris and the two of them start making out like they’ve never kissed each other before or they’ve been separated for over a month. It was not necessary. 

Loris really needs another beer. He heads over the water coolers, grabbing one and unscrewing the top and when he turns around Emre walks past him with his arm around a girl, huge smile on his face. The girl throws her head so far back in laughter, Loris worries it might fall back. He scowls at them, whatever he said couldn’t be that funny. 

Hell, he was insufferable. 

Loris kicks the ground, mood dampened as he heads back over to the growing group which seems to have arranged them themselves in a makeshift circle. They had now been joined by Marc and Bernd and Dejan also turns up with a huge smirk on his face and his arm thrown around Mo's shoulder. 

“Doing it in the bushes were ya,” Mats asks before getting a shove in the calf from Dejan. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” he replies with the same smirk. Mo blushes so bright, it’s almost cute when he hides his face in Dejan's shoulder. 

“We really wouldn’t,” Loris grumbles with a smile which earns him the middle finger from Dejan before he falls down beside him. “It’s about time,” Loris says quietly when Mo gets up to get them all more beer. 

Dejan smiles, “he’s a good a kisser,” he declares; dreamily. 

Loris smushes his hand on Dejan's face, “I really don’t need to know,” he says fake disgust overtaking his features and tone.

Mo comes back with the beer, the same time Emre walks over. Mo hands him a beer too. He sits on the other side of Bernd with the girl hanging off his arm. Loris down his beer too fast and focuses on the story Mo is telling them about his trainer in an attempt to drown out the sound of Emre's laugh from the other end of their small group. 

*

Mario has his hands shoved deep in his pockets and his scarf covering his mouth and his nose; hat pulled down over his ears. His eyes were barely visible and the sight was making Marco laugh. Mario hated the cold more than he hated being hungry and that was something. 

“It’s just a couple of hours sunny I promise.” 

“I hate you.” 

“Not what you said last night,” Marco retorts which earns him a whack on his arm which he barely feels through his padded coat and Mario’s gloved hand. 

“Well last night I was dumb. My intellectuality has improved since then and I realise that I don’t love you.” 

“Hmmm, we'll see about that later,” Marco raises his eyebrow at Mario in a suggestive manner and Mario blushes, making his cheeks even redder. 

“There’s going to be no later because I'm going to dump you.”

“You're all talk, sunny boy,” Marco giggles as they walk towards the group sat by the lake. It was way too cold to be anywhere but indoors but it was the winter break soon and this was their final get-together. Marco wraps his arm around Mario’s shoulder pulling him closer; protectively, possessively and he can't help the small smile that overtakes his face when Mario leans up and presses a small kiss against the side of his jaw. 

“The married couple finally decided to show up huh.” That was Bernd. Marco didn’t know him very well but he always had a comment. 

“What took you so long?” Mats asks drinking his beer. He looked like he’d a bit too many but who was Marco to judge. Speaking of he should get them some drinks. 

“Gonna get some beers,” he murmers to no one in particular and leaves Mario with their good -natured banter. When he returns, he sits beside Mario on the frozen ground and the cold seeping into his pants sends into minute shock; he almost forgets to pass the beer around. Mario was right; they should have stayed home. 

“So y’all are officially together now,” Mo asks from beside Dejan. Marco would feel a little ashamed that Mo had to witness some of his pining but it wasn’t like he was any better anyway. 

“Yep,” Mario grins widely. “This idiot finally got his shit together.” 

“Hey,” Marco protests. “I was,”- he trails off and shrugs. “You’re right, I'm an idiot.” 

“My idiot,” Mario whispers, so disgustingly sweet that all Marco can do is kiss the huge grin right off his face. 

“Yeah your idiot.” 

“Get me a bag,” Mats declares making gagging noises and acting like he was going to throw up right then. Marco sticks his finger up in his direction in the middle of their kiss and when they break apart he presses his lips to the side of Mario’s head; lips meeting cotton and fluff before turning back to the group. 

“You're all just jealous. Pick on them too,” he points to Emre who has his tongue down this random girl's throat, who Marco had never seen before. He catches a glimpse of Loris as he points towards Benni and Ralle who are also making out and Loris is scowling in Emre’s direction, which is odd. He looked kind of pissed off which Marco is curious about but then again; the dude was never overly pleased. 

Unless he had a crush on one of the two. It must be the girl because Marco is certain Loris hates Emre’s guts for a reason unknown. It was a dilemma he wanted no part off. “Or them,” he indicates to Benni and Ralle who are looking dreamily at each other when they break apart. 

The lilt in Mats’ voice dies down a little after, “you’re all terrible. Be miserable and single like the rest of us, jesus christ. We don’t need to see this.”

“Jealous,” Dejan agrees with Mo tucked under his arm who is looking up at him like he hung the moon; smile bigger than the universe. 

“Whatever,” Mats grumbles reaching for another beer and handing one to Loris too. “Maybe we should make out in front of all of them and show them what it feels like.” 

“Now that’s something I'd pay to see,” Marc pipes. 

“Perv,” Mats counters. 

“We wouldn’t care because we aren’t as sour as you Mats.” Mats just narrows his eyes in their direction. 

Marco sips his beer and sees Emre’s head jerk towards Loris at the mention of the kiss. Loris is circling his fingers around the rim of the bottle but when he does look in Emre's direction again, while Mats is arguing about the single life, he catches Emre’s eye and quickly averts his gaze. 

Now Marco was more than a little curious because he wanted to know what the hell was going on there. 

“Not happening,” Loris grumbles. Emre turns his attention back to the girl but his jaw is clenched tighter than ever. 

“Your loss Karius. I’m a great kisser.” 

“Being the judge of your own kissing is so sad,” Dejan barters, making everyone laugh. 

“You're all assholes. Let’s play a game!” Mats shouts too loudly, grabbing an empty beer bottle and placing it in the middle of their makeshift circle. 

“Spin the bottle? Really?” Benni asks 

“Why not?”

Benni shrugs and Mats smirks back.

*

Max turns up after a while and slouches down against Mario. “What are we doing?” 

“Mats wants to play spin the bottle,” Mario tells him with a shrug, highly uninterested in any of this situation.  

“Seriously. Are we twelve”

“You look it.”

“You look thirty Mats so fuck off.” 

Leon also walks over at that point and Max glances down at the ground. “Spin the bottle,” he asks incredulously

“Fine then you judgemental fucks think of something else.”

“Or we could just sit here and get drunk,” Loris suggests on his fifth or tenth beer or something. Who was counting anyway. Music flared up from somewhere and when Loris looked around some guy had a boombox held on his shoulders. For a minute he wonders when he travelled to the eighties but then Mats speaks and he realises the eighties had to be better than this. 

“You’re so boring.” 

Loris just shrugs, unbothered. “Find other people to play with then Matsi.”

“And to think I was going to let you kiss me.”

Loris scoffs. “The fact that you think I was going to kiss you is hilarious because not in a million years dude. Also let me? You brought it up. No one wants to be near all of that,” he waves his hands in a up and down motion over Mats’ being.

“I’m irresistible so keep denying it Karius. You can't resist me.” 

“I’ll try super hard I promise.” 

“Irresistible?” Dejan asks. “Coming from the guy that wants to play spin the bottle just to get a bit of action.” 

“When did this turn into a bully Mats session. I get plenty Dejan, fuck you.” 

“No thanks,” he objects, pecking Mo on the lips. 

“Let’s have a round,” Leon pipes up, leaning forward and twisting the bottle with too much vigour. Mats smirks and high fives him and everyone else looks un-interested and cold. Very cold. And red faced but when the bottle lands on Emre everyone’s interest suddenly peaks. Loris looks up from the screen of his phone and he gulps slightly. 

Leon shrugs and crawls forward to the centre of their circle and Emre hasn’t even moved yet. “Come on dude are you scared?” Mats asks. 

“Stop being an asshole Mats,” Mo warns, quiet until now. He never really said much but he got Mats to shut up which was an achievement on its own. They should all gift him in thanks. Emre unwraps his arm from around the girl’s shoulder, that Marco is still to lean the name of, and shuffles towards Leon too, somewhat hesitantly. 

“If none of us want to kiss each other why are we even playing this stupid game,” Loris grumbles. 

“If they don’t want to kiss they don’t have to. This isn’t russian roulette no one is going to die,” that was Mats again. “If they aren’t going to say no let it happen.” 

Marco sees Loris clench his fist and his jaw and then he sees Leon and Emre lean towards each other. Leon puts a hand on Emre's jaw and pulls him in before slotting their lips together for a brief kiss. It barely lasted a second before they both pulled back. 

“See no harm done,” Mats just has to say. 

“I’m out,” Benni tells them as Leon and Emre sit in their respective places again. The girl with Emre just smiles awkwardly and Marco knows that he too would be weirded out if Mario kissed anyone else right in front of him. When he catches Loris’ expression he looks indifferent and jealous? Or maybe hurt? Either way he wasn’t pleased. Nor did he look like he was having fun. 

Mario had pulled Max closer because he too looked hurt. Marco realises that none of them should be playing this because it wasn’t a game to any of them and if Mats wasn’t drunk out of his mind he too would notice that. 

“What? Why?” Mats asks hurt. 

“Cus this is childish and I only want to kiss my boyfriend.” 

“It’s just a game.”

“Not to me and I don’t want to play so I'm out.” 

“Ok,” Mats breathes. 

“Me too,” Marco says and Mario gives him a small smile as if in thanks. 

“You’re all so boring.” 

“Your drunk Mats shut up,” Ralle snaps. 

“You shut up,” Mats snaps back and suddenly the tension is palpable and thick and Marco wonders what the hell just happened. They went from having fun to hostility and it was awkward.  

“Ok,” Marco tries to ease the situation, “maybe we shouldn’t play this anymore.” 

“So, I had to kiss Leon and everyone else gets a free pass?” Emre asks

“It isn’t like you objected,” Max snarks. 

“It was a game, I joined in. How was I to know you were all going to pull out after the first round.” 

“Well the game is over,” Marco insists and just like that they all drop it and sit in awkward silence for a while until the boombox guy cranks the volume on some rock song and they all burst out laughing until the clouds open up and soak them through to the bone which makes them all scatter back to their dorms. 

Marco cuddles up next to Mario beneath their covers with a packet of crisps. “Man, that was wild.” 

“College is wild,” Marco agrees with a grin and a kiss. College gave him drunken outbreaks from friends and pants covered in dew from the freezing cold and chapped lips and stress from all the impending work but it also gave him Mario and for that it was worth it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mats hummels, alcohol and a broken heart, life hates him.


	6. Chapter 6

Mats finds Benni on the steps of the archaeological museum at thirty minutes past eleven, a day before Christmas break. He leans his head back against the headrest of his car seat, shutting his eyes and he lets out a deep breath. He places his hands in front of the heater warming them up before he switches off the engine and gets out the car. 

He stuffs his hands in his pocket but the unforgiving wind stings his cheeks and makes his eyes water. The thin jacket he threw on in his haste does nothing to keep him warm and he shudders as he makes his way over and up the stairs to where Benni is sat with his head between his legs. 

Mats sits down on the stairs, cold seeping through his pants and numbing his skin but he ignores it as he reaches out and places a hand on Benni's shoulder, stroking over the fabric of his coat. Benni sniffles and Mats wants to punch Ralf in the face because Benni wasn’t meant to cry. 

He wasn’t meant be sad or hurt because the first time Mats saw him he knew he never wanted to experience a time when Benni wasn’t happy. 

“Benni,” he says softly, breath curling into the air, disappearing as soon as it appeared. Mats' lips feel numb and his teeth are shattering. “Benni,” he says again, squeezing his shoulder, trying to get him to look up. Benni had at least grabbed his scarf on his way out of the room and he had a decent coat on but his fingers looked frozen and numb. 

“Benni I'm sorry,” he tries, at a loss for words but wanting him know he understood and he was there. He sniffles again and his breath hitches. Mats really wants to punch something, or someone. But instead he grabs Benni's hands between his own and rubs his knuckles his with his thumb. They were numb to the bone so Mats brings them up to his mouth and breathes on them, trying his best to warm them up. 

“S'not your fault,” Benni hiccups through the tears, finally lifting his head. 

Mats’ heart breaks at the sight of his tear streaked face and red cheeks. He looked broken and sad and Mats just wanted him to smile and laugh. He wanted the bouncy Benni back, the one he knew and loved more than anyone. Because he did. He loved Benni and Benni was happy with Ralf but now he was hurt and crying and Mats just wants him to be ok. 

“It’s not your fault either,” Mats tells him pulling him closer towards so they were stuck together, sharing body heat. 

Benni shakes his head in disagreement pushing his face into Mats neck. Ralf really made him believe that this was his fault, that he wasn’t good enough to be treated right or with respect. Mats strokes a hand through his hair and holds his other hand in his. 

“Hey it’s not your fault Benni,” Mats reassures and Benni hiccups. “it’s not,” Mats insists fiercely, tightening his grip on Benni's hand. “You’re amazing Benni, and you’re funny, you make me laugh all the time, and your thoughtful, you always bring me a coffee and you teach me new things all the time and you're an amazing friend. I know you loved him but you’ll be ok.” 

“I really loved him and he just- he just left me,” Benni hiccups. "He broke up with me over a post- it Matsi. Did I mean that little to him?" 

Mats doesn’t know what to say as he bumps his forehead against Benni's. 

Benni slumps against him and cries into his shoulder, sobs wracking his entire body. Mats runs a hand down his spine and feels the cracks of his heart shatter a little more every time Benni’s breath hitches. 

They sit there for a while, numb to the bone and soon Benni stops crying. Mats can't feel many of his limbs and he’s pretty sure his blood has stopped flowing but there was something calming about the empty street and distant street light casting a soft glow. 

Benni is running his thumb over Mats’ fingers feather light but it’s there and Mats watches him do it entrapped in the motion, smiling against his fore head. 

“Let’s go home,” he whispers into his hair. Benni squeezes his hand and they head to the car together where Mats immediately turns the heat all the way up. 

Benni falls asleep in the passenger seat; the shadows of the street lamps running over his face as Mats drives home. 

* 

Mats shakes him awake lightly once they make it back to campus. “We're here,” Mats says. Benni rubs his eyes and sighs tiredly. He looks defeated and upset and it pulls at Mats heart. 

They both climb out of the car and head up the stairs. Benni slumps on the edge of his bed. It was twelve fifteen and Mats was meant to be going home tomorrow but there was no way he was leaving Benni here like this. 

“Benni,” Mats starts. 

“I thought I loved him,” Benni breathes into the silence of the room, Mats gulps around the lump in his throat and blinks away the tears stinging his eyes. 

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Mats tells him. Benni nods his head slowly before kicking off his shoes and lying flat on his back on top of the sheets. 

“It’s freezing Benni, at least get in the bed.” He doesn’t listen. 

Mats sighs and changes before he burrows under the covers of his bed and tries his best to get warm. He doesn’t know how to help or what to say and he doesn’t realise when he drifts off but he startles awake to the covers being pulled back and feet sliding against his own. 

“Wha-,” he mumbles. “Time s'it.” 

“One a.m,” Benni whispers. 

“Can't sleep?” 

“I’m cold,” Benni tells him as he sticks his feet against Mats. Mats sighs, letting him as he pulls Benni closer so he can burrow into his neck. 

Neither of them says anything for a long while. 

“I need to get away from here. I need to think, I-,” Mats is glad its winter break and that Benni is going home to people who love him and can take of him while Mats couldn’t keep an eye on him. 

“That’s good, you're not alone Benni, you've got me,” Mats whispers into the small cocoon of warmth they’d made. 

Benni nods and Mats feels a tear drop onto the skin of his neck. He doesn’t know what to say to show Benni that he was loved by so many people, that he was loved by Mats himself. Instead he pulls him closer and rubs his back. “You're ok,” he repeats into his skin like a mantra, “you're ok,” and Benni falls asleep against Mats, breath billowing over his neck lightly. 

“I love you,” Mats whispers into empty air before he drifts off to a dreamless sleep. 

* 

Christmas break comes and goes and Mats doesn’t anything hear from Benni for the first week. He leaves him a few messages, checking in on him and Benni replies with a thumbs-up emoji and that’s it. 

When he returns to the dorm room Benni isn’t there but his suitcase is propped against the wall which was weird because Benni always made sure to unpack almost instantly. He frowns, placing his own suitcase on the floor and kicking off his shoes before he falls backwards on the bed and sighs. 

“Hey Benni,” Mats says overly cheerful when he hears the door creak open before looking up with a huge beaming smile that falls off his face at the sight of Ralf. 

“It’s not-,” he has one hand shoved in his pocket and the other leaning against the door frame and it takes everything in Mats to not leap across the room and punch his face in. 

“What do you want?” Mats spits out. 

“Is Benni hear yet?” 

“No,” Mats seethes in anger. Did this asshole really think he had a right to see him again after what he did. “You should leave,” he fumes through gritted teeth. 

“Mats please,” he pleads half begging. “I need to talk to him,” Mats prays that wherever Benni is he doesn’t return to their dorm right now. 

“You need to leave,” Mats shoves the door closed which is stopped with Ralfs palm against it. 

Mats is losing his losing his patience and he figures Ralf has three seconds before no teeth left. 

“Tell him I came by please.” 

“No,” Mats says attempting to close the door again. 

“Mats I said please.” 

“You could sit there and beg and id still say no, whatever you have to say you can save it.” 

“I just want to explain.” 

“Explain what? You made your choice, you chose yourself, you didn’t want him in your life anymore. You have the right to pick and choose when you want to see him, not when you packed your things without an explanation and just left him like he was nothing.” 

“Mats-,” 

“Stop saying my name and leave or I’m going to rearrange your fucking face asshole,” he threatens, temper rising. “Stay away from him Ralf or I swear to god I’ll kill you,” and with that Mats slams the door shut. 

He leans against, panting before taking in a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He moves away from the door just before it swings open. 

Benni walks in with his arms full of snacks and a litre bottle of coke. 

“There you are,” Mats breathes smile stretching his cheeks wide. The sight of Benni after so long released something in his muscles getting him to relax, Benni drops the goods on his bed before he turns around and tackles Mats in a bear hug giggling into his neck. Mats closes his eyes and pulls him closer before burying his head in his neck. 

“Miss me?” Benni asks giddy and light 

More than you know. Mats places a kiss against his neck before reluctantly pulling away. “Kinda,” he says running a hand through his hair shyly. 

Benni smiles at him warmly. 

“Where were you?” 

“Speaking to Marc and Bernd and they said something about a movie night at Leon’s and I was on snack duty. You coming?” 

Mats gawks at the fact that they’d been back barely five minutes and there was already a massive get together planned. 

“Yeah sure. Who else is going?” 

“Most of the usual.” Which meant everyone from the lake. 

“I called you over Christmas,” he says quietly. “How have you been?” 

Benni stops buzzing around the room at that; he stops unpacking for a moment before he shrugs and starts hanging clothing back up on hangers and in his wardrobe. 

“Benni-,” Mats calls walking over and stopping him. 

“I’m fine Mats I promise.” 

“It’s only been three weeks you don’t have to be fine.” 

“But I am Mats shut up. I don’t want to talk about this. How was your break?” 

“Good,” Mats says dully sighing and walking back to his bed. 

“Yours?” 

“Fine, went up to the lake house with my family. It was good.” Mats nods as he watches him organise his things. He hopes to all deities that things would actually be good in the long run. 

* 

“Hey Max wait up,” Max is heading the local café to meet Mario. He’d just sat through a three-hour lecture on stock, and markets and way too numbers that made his brain so numb he no longer felt human. He cringes at the voice, thinking about running all the way down the hall or jumping through the window but there were too many people in the corridor so Max would end getting injured first and foremost. 

He keeps walking down the hall, occasionally getting knocked by a backpack or an elbow, ignoring the call of his name. 

“Max!” Leon yells, “wait up,” Max manages to get to the stairs where there is a lot less people, thank god. He takes a breather praying that Leon had lost in him in the crowd but the door to the stairs swings open to reveal all of Leon’s six-foot way too many inches stature. 

Shit, Max's brain says on a loop, shit shit shit, he really didn’t want to deal with this. He’d managed to avoid Leon for three weeks now, with help from the winter break and keeping himself busy enough to avoid him when they went home. 

Max peels his back of the wall ready to make his way down the stairs when Leon grabs his arm. 

Max sighs, “Max,” he doesn’t turn around. 

“I’ve got to be somewhere,” he grits out. 

“Come on Max,” Leon practically begs, “why are you avoiding me, I’ve called you about a thousand times and messaged you and I went round to your house over the break and apparently no one has any clue where you are, like you disappeared off the earth or something. Can we just talk?” He asks quietly pleading, 

Max sighs. He doesn’t know why he turns around but it was a bad idea because Leon’s eyes are full of hurt and his expression looks like Max personally killed his dog. All the fight seems to drain out of Max's body and his mind so he nods once, shooting Mario a text that he wouldn’t be able to make it to the café. 

His stomach growled in annoyance but he ignores it as he walks out the building and straight to the dorms. 

* 

Leon's dorm is a mess. There’s clothes strewn across the floor and old food wrappers and take out boxes on the desk and neither of the beds were made. Leon throws some things off the bed into the corner of the room making room for Max to sit down. Max doesn’t move from the door, back pressed against it in case he had to make a haste exit. 

He stares at his shoes not looking at Leon. “I've missed you," Leon whispers. Max presses his back tigther to the door, one hand gripping the handle as his heart pounds against his chest. “Maxi,” Leon breathes, stepping closer. 

“What do you want?” Max asks sharply, looking up from the floor and straight at Leon with hard set eyes and unwavering gaze. 

“Nothing-Max, I just want to-,” 

“I don’t have time,” Max snaps turning around to open the door. 

“Why are you ignoring me Max?” he stops dead in his tracks and when he turns around again Leon is closer than he was before crowding him against the door. Max has been in this position several times before with Leon, Leon would push him against the door, look down at him with lustful eyes before kissing him and then hitching Max up the door. Max would wrap his legs around Leon’s waist and kiss him back eliciting moans from him. 

Max digs his hands in his pockets and his nails into his palms to keep from sinking his hands into Leon’s shirt or reaching up to drag him drag him down for a kiss. 

“I’m not,” he mumbles quietly towards the floor. 

“Really, is that why you won't pick up and you're being weird Max, ever since that party and that text message, did something happen, did someone hurt you-,” you Max thinks abruptly. “If someone hurt you I'll end them for you Max. You can talk to me you know that right.” Max looks up at him with glassy eyes, digging his nails deeper into his palm. “You're my best friend.” Leon says pulling him forward and gathering him into a hug against his chest. 

Max feels numb. He doesn’t bring his hands up around Leon’s back. How did he not get it. How was Max nothing but a fling to him, Max hates himself for falling in love with his best friend. Leon pulls away after a short while. He brings a palm up to Max’s cheek running a thumb across his cheekbone, Leon smells of the aftershave he always wears, strong and familiar and for some odd reason it smells like home. Max closes his eyes and lets Leon push him back against the door and lean his forehead against his own, suddenly realising just how much he's missed him, how much he missed this touch and craved to feel Leon’s heat against his skin and his breath against his cheek. 

Max leans forward to kiss him, he’s right there. “Maxi,” Leon breathes softly against his lips before he leans in but Max can't do it. He can't be sucked in again not when this wouldn’t lead to anything so he turns his head to the side, Leon’s nose butting into the jut of his cheek. 

“I can't,” Max whispers, voice hoarse, his throat hurts from all the words he isn’t saying. That he refuses to spill because Leon may have broken his heart but Max wasn’t going to show him the damage. 

“You really meant that message huh,” Leon asks still not moving. Max hasn’t turned his head to look at him, “can we talk about that?” 

Max doesn’t want to talk about anything, “I've got to go,” he says again. 

“Max,” Leon pleads as he opens the door, forcing himself to tune Leon out and walk away before he ripped Leon’s clothes off and let him lift him onto the bed. “Max please just wait,” he begs, “let’s talk about this, I need to tell you som-,”. 

Max walks down the hall knees wobbling beneath him and tears falling down his face.


	7. Chapter 7

Max doesn’t know how or why he ended up at this party but he's here and its horrible. He downs three cups of something, sways to the music in the living room of some house before he gets tired of the bodies too close to his and makes his way into the hallway. The house is nice, Max notes, not that it matters now that it was covered in rubbish and paper cups.  

He just about managed to hand in his assignments in time but the emptiness in his chest needed to be filled somehow and Max thought a party would help him. The very reason he hated Leon was because of parties. The first time they hooked up was at Max sixteenth birthday party, a little different to this but they had grown up together and later in the evening after all the commotion and normal teenage boy rowdiness Leon kissed him on the lips.  

Max smiles at the memory. They hadn’t talked about any of it but it continued occasionally, Max got a girlfriend and so did Leon until he broke up with her before college. The two of them got into the same college together and Max ditches his childhood for alcohol and classes and occasional adultness which he is yet to master; if ever.

 Walking aimlessly around the house, he tries to forget about Leon, he was a distant memory and they were never even together. Max curses the day he fell in love with him which was a Saturday; he remembers it so clearly. They'd driven down to the beach, with nothing else to do they thought it was a good idea and spent the day lounging on the sand and messing around in the water, Leon even brought him an ice cream but it was when Leon leant back on his elbows in the sand, face titled up towards the sky, sun glistening in his hair and on his body as he stared at the seagulls overhead that Max's heart leaped in his chest. Leon had looked at him with a huge kilowatt smile, crooked teeth on show and Max smiled back but he knew right then. 

He walks out onto the porch contemplating going back to the dorm, alcohol and the swell of strangers was doing nothing to quell his thoughts of Leon. He sits on the porch steps letting the cool ground sink into his warm skin as he stares at the rest of the street, serene and quiet compared to the noise coming from behind him. Someone sits down beside him and when he twists towards him, he sees its Davie. 

Davie smiles at him with perfect white teeth and tanned skin. Max feels like an awful friend for not keeping in touch with him but Davie nudges against his side, still smiling brightly, “how you been Meyer?” Max grins at him, lifting the bottle of beer that was in his hand. 

Davie lifts his own and clinks it against the side of Max's. Max knew Davie from school but the busy life of college swept him up and he lost contact with one of his closest friends, he hates himself for letting it happen. “No Leon,” Davie asks after taking a sip of his drink. He isn’t looking at Max when he says it, instead he’s looking right into the bottle. 

“Nope,” Max slurs into the nights air. 

“You break up or something?”  

“Never together.” Davie raises his eyebrow as if to say  _a_ _re you sure_. Max shrugs his shoulders. Davie leans over and grabs him by the head pulling him closer, 

“Sucks for him,” Davie breathes, leaning closer. Max watches like it was all happening in slow motion. Davie presses his lips against Max's. 

Max pulls away and throws up into the rose bushes at the bottom of the porch with the faint chuckle from Davie behind him ringing in his ears. A faint voice tells him he should feel embarrassed or at least sorry but all Max knows right now is the tiredness in his bones.

A pair of arms wrap around his shoulders and suddenly Max isn’t staring into the endless pit of dirt. He thinks his feet might be moving but he isn’t entirely sure at this point.

*

“The next project,” Low says slamming a book shut, “is to be done in pairs. But not to be pushed entirely on one person. I will know.” He says walking around the desk and leaning against it. 

Loris is actually fine with this. He can work with Dejan and get a great grade. Dejan had the same work rate as him and they worked well together. 

“The pairs,” Low continues, holding a sheet of paper; Loris looks over at Dejan with a look of despair. He didn’t particularly hate the people in his class but he had a feeling none of them would actually put in half the work he did. Ok he was disinterested in class and bored for most of the lessons but he cared about his education and he actually wanted a career, so he sucked up the assignments and put in his best. 

“Karius,” Low says sharply, who’s currently slouching in his seat, contemplating on who he wouldn’t murder through the duration of this project whilst munching on jellybeans, “you're with Can.” 

Loris nearly chokes as he sits up straight in his seat, spine rigid as looks towards Dejan in horror. Dejan grins at him and Loris wants to knock it off his face. He turns around and looks at Emre who looks like he may be asleep behind those sunglasses. Resigning to his fate he slumps back down in his seat and prays for strength; maybe he could work at the local coffee shop for the rest of his life.

*

Max groans from the buzzing pain in his head and the ache behind his eyelids. He blinks awake slowly, immediately closing his eyes against the light shining in from the windows. “Urgh,” he groans, throwing an arm over his face and burrowing deeper under the duvet. 

“You know if you didn’t want to kiss me you have just pushed me away." Max takes a while to process any of that sentence.  _Shit, Davie_. That was Davies voice above him. 

Max pulls the covers down revealing one of his eyes so he could see over the top, his head protesting the action. Davie grins at him, “throwing up over a kiss was so extra Meyer. Normally people just say no, or that they’re not interested.” Max swats at him half-heartedly, barely making an effort. Davie laughs. 

“Sit up, come on,” Davie tells him. Max's head screams and he feels like his joints are cement as he pulls himself up against the pillows. “Here,” Davie hands him two advil and a glass of water. 

Max swallows all of it gratefully, suddenly feeling bad. Here Davie was being nice and amazing and taking care of him when he barely had made an effort to keep in touch and then he threw up straight after Davie kissed him. Max doesn’t remember much of the kiss but he knew it didn’t feel quite right. 

He just wasn’t ready yet. Max slumps down against the pillows again letting the pain in head recede before doing any kind of hardcore activities such as moving or showering. “Thanks,” Max croaks leaning his head on Davie’s shoulder, sighing at the warmth seeping into his skin. 

“Sorry for not keeping in touch,” Max tells him with his eyes closed. 

“It’s fine, I barely made an effort either.” Max nods. 

“About the kiss,” Max starts after a while.

“It's fine Max forget about it.”

“No, I just, I like you Davie but I-,”

“You’re in love with Leon,” Davie states. He doesn’t say it harshly or like he’s jealous. He says it like it’s a fact, like it was normal and it shouldn’t hurt Max's heart but it does. 

“Yeah,” he breathes admitting it out loud for the first time ever. 

“And you haven’t told him?” Davie asks fiddling with the edge of the duvet. Max shakes his head, “Why? You’re best friends just tell him.”

“That’s why,” Max sits up and leans against the headboard. 

Davie looks at him, “this isn’t making sense Max. He cares about you anyone with two eyes can see that and I always thought you were together.”

“We hooked up occasionally.” 

“As friends?” 

“Yeah but I broke it off because I caught feelings. I’m so dumb Davie I fell for my best friend.” 

“You’re not dumb Max, but you should talk to him, tell him how you feel, it'll make you feel better and maybe then you'll just know.”

Max gulps, he was right, he'd managed to avoid the countless calls and texts and Leon yelling his name across campus and the dorms for almost a month now. He’d even got Loris to lie for him and tell Leon he wasn’t in their room when he came by because Max didn’t want to have this conversation. He didn’t know how to tell his best friend and occasional hook up he wanted to be more than best friends with the side perk of sex because he’s pretty sure Leon doesn’t want to give up sleeping with other people for just him.

“Why did you kiss me?” he asks instead. 

Davie grins and then shrugs. “I guess it was kind of dumb seeing as I knew you were still hooked on Goretzka.” Max laughs and shoves against his shoulder with his own. “Wanna grab some food?” he climbs out of bed, the pain behind his eyes evaporating slowly. 

*

"You’re late,” Loris grumbles at Emre when he turns up at Loris' dorm twenty minutes late with nothing but a smirk. 

“Whatever Karius,” he slumps onto the desk chair gracefully, legs spread perfectly, hands resting behind his head and slouching in the most elegant way possible. Loris sighs and climbs onto his bed praying for strength. 

They had ten case studies to look through and present by the end of the week. Loris was not doing this alone. He really wanted to start this sooner so he realises he doesn’t have the time to think about anything but getting through at least three case studies today. 

“So... uh... I was thinking we could split them, you take five and I'll do five, write all the notes and we'll put them together at the end,” Loris utters in Emre’s general direction. He really doesn’t want to interact with him anymore than he absolutely has too. 

“Hmmm,” Emre swings left to right slowly on the desk chair, wheels squeaking below him, gradually driving Loris insane. The fucker had his eyes closed and everything. Loris wants to throw a shoe at him as he loses the willpower to live. “Which five do you want?” he asks through gritted teeth trying to keep his composure. 

“Dunno,” he mumbles, and the need to not fling something at him intensifies.

“Fine then, I'll chose and you can take the rest.” 

“Yeah man whatever I ain’t fussed.” Loris grips the side of his laptop so tightly he fears the screen might break. 

“Y’kno we don’t have to read together, you can go do it on your own and get back to me at the end of the week.” 

“Fine by me,” Emre grins, getting off the chair and collecting the studies from Loris. When he reaches for them their fingers touch. Loris panics a little, looking up at Emre who’s staring right at him, huge smirk coating his features. 

“End of the week Karius,” he brushes his fingertips against Loris' before taking the papers who drops his hand to the bed like it had been burnt. Emre walks out the room the same way he sauntered in, too much cool and overly graceful. 

 Groaning, he hits his head against the pillow in frustration trying to get his heart beat to slow down. 

*

Mario was demanded by his very commanding boyfriend to be dressed by seven pm. It was currently 6;50 and Mario still didn’t know what to wear. 

“Mar you could wear a bin liner and he’ll still look at you like you’re a prince and you saved him.” 

Mario narrows his eyes, “It’s a date Maxi.”

“I know.”

“It’s valentine’s day.”

“And, he’ll love you regardless of the shirt you pick.” At that Max gets up and pulls out a dark blue shirt and some black jeans. “Here put them on.” 

“Alright bossy.”

“Go he’ll be here now.” When Mario walks out the bathroom moments later still fidgeting with his outfit, Max gives him a thumbs up in approval, “Smash em up kid.” 

“You sound drunk, are you drunk.”

“Perfectly sober.”

“Debatable.”

“Asshole,” before Mario can respond Marco opens the door. He’s dressed in a tight black shirt and black jeans and Mario has to take a second. Max laughs at him, “close your mouth dude, you look like an idiot.” Mario shoves him in the shoulder. “See ya,” Max gives Marco a quick hug before leaving the two alone.

“You look...amazing,” Mario gapes. 

“Says you Sunny.” 

“Shut up. I just threw this on.”

“It’s effortless then, it makes you hotter,” Mario blushes, averting his gaze towards the floor.

“Come on sunny boy,” Marco grabs his hand and leads them out of room. 

“Where are we going?” Mario enquires with no response. “Marcooooo.” 

“You’ll see soon,” Mario pouts but continues walking and eventually they stop in the gardens behind the dorms. “Come on sunny,” Marco tugs him forwards by his shirt, walking backwards towards the end of the garden. Marco marvels at Mario’s reaction. All he wanted was to get this right. He just wanted it to be perfect. He walks up the stairs and stands in the centre of the gazebo.

Mario’s mouth falls open when he sees the gazebo not full of people getting high or drunk or both. Instead it was decorated with a million lights and a few candles and there was a boombox too. “You did this? He walks up the steps towards Marco who has the biggest smile on his face. 

Marco shrugs, “Mats helped.” Mario laughs and walks forward to kiss him, wrapping his arms around his head. 

“Wow, Marco Reus; the romantic.” Marco shakes his head, cheeks going red before kissing him again.

“Happy valentine's day Sunny,” Marco grins.

Mario giggles against his shoulder. “Happy valentine’s day Marco.” Marco runs a hand through his hair, “What’s with the boombox,” Mario asks after a while, purely out of sheer curiosity.

“Dunno, Mats said something about rustic vintage vibes adding to the atmosphere, don't have a clue what the hell he was talking about, I never listen to him, pretty sure it doesn’t work anyway.” 

“Shame, we could have slow danced or something.”

“No thanks, I'd like to save my toes from being trampled on,” Marco laughs when Mario shoves him away, instantly pulling him closer again. They sway together for a few moments, just reveling in the moment before Marco pulls away and reveals a picnic basket which earns him a grateful smile

“I knew I kept you around for a reason, a man after my own heart.”

“Don’t I already have your heart?” He splays a picnic blanket across the paneled floor and leans back on his elbows, looking up at Mario under the moonlight.

“Depends on the food in the basket.”

“Couple of pretzels,” Marco holds up the bag of goods for him to see.

“You can keep my heart forever.” Mario exclaims dramatically, Marco pats the spot opposite him on the blanket, handing him a glass of wine.

“It’s perfect,” Mario revels in the decoration. And the night itself. Everything was just perfect.  

“Yeah,” Marco breathes in agreement. It is. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi thanks for keeping up with this story, and thank you for reading xx


	8. Chapter 8

“I hated him the second I saw him,” Loris moans to Dejan later on over a beer; the bar was crowded and noisy but it got him out his dorm which right now he was grateful for.

“Did you?” Dejan asks, “because I swear to god the second, he walked in your spine was straighter than a ruler.  You looked interested Loris I ain’t ever seen you interested,” Dejan smirks as he opens a packet of peanuts. 

“Well he was late and I was curious, the guy was a douche,” Loris defends as he slumps down over his beer.

“He was funny,” Dejan counters throwing some of the peanuts in the air and catching them the next second. Loris just watches him, eye tracking his movements.

“An asshole I hate him,” he grumbles.

“why are you so depressed over this?”

“I’m not,” Loris groans, “I just don’t like him.”

“Because you want to get in his pants,” Dejan says like it's nothing.

“Wha....no,” Loris splutters almost choking, sitting up straight, suddenly more awake than ever.

“You so do,” Dejan says simply. When he takes a sip of his beer, he smirks in Loris' direction again.

“No, I don’t, I can't stand him,” Loris protests, slumping against the back of the chair and contemplates leaving. Just straight up walking away from this whole situation because Dejan was wrong.

“You can't stand him because you’re sexually frustrated and you want to jump his bones?” Dejan wiggles his eyebrows, and when Loris doesn’t even look in his direction, he throws a couple of peanuts at him, “but seriously why can't you stand him? Why do you hate him you even know him?”

“He's so cocky and full of himself,” Loris takes the time to shove the peanuts caught in the crinkles of his shirt to the ground. 

“Yeah, well, you aren’t exactly nice to him either Loris, you never gave him a chance, he works harder than all of us combined, he's a good person, you’re my ride or die Lo and id kill someone for you but stop being a dick especially not when the guy hasn’t even done anything to you.” Loris finally looks at him then, blinking once in confusion.

 Dejan was serious, more serious than he'd ever seen him and almost fierce. 

Loris slouches down on the table again when Dejan gets up to get them more beer and sighs because Dejan was right; he was being an asshole. 

*

Turns out that by the end of the week, Loris only gets three case studies done. His mind was distracted, Dejan's words flitting around his head, and the impending doom of the deadline weighing heavily on him. He wasn’t usually like this. Normally he would have had all his project done with a week to spare but none of the two remaining studies were making any sense and Loris just couldn’t process any of the information no matter how he tried. 

With his three done and possibly one of Emre's, they were screwed. Loris doesn’t know how much to believe of Dejan's words seeing as Loris hadn't see Emre even lift a pen in class so he was pretty sceptical that Emre would have finished his part of the assignment, Loris was ready to get his participation grade and watch the rest of his education go up in flames. Apart from that he hadn't even finished his own side of things either so he well and truly done for. 

The door creaks open and in walks none other than Emre and his stupid immaculate face. Loris sighs, staring at his studies as if the words were suddenly going to jump out and make sense; at this point they had all just blended into to each other. 

Emre sits in the desk chair again, legs spread wide. Something hot runs down the back of Loris' spine, and through his gut. He puts his feet up on the desk, leaning back like the last time he was here. “You still not done,” he sounds kind of smug and when Loris looks up Emre looks cocky. Loris wants to knock the smirk off his face.

“Yeah well, I've been busy. I take it you haven’t even started,” he shoots back. They had the weekend but they had to put all the information into one huge presentation to present to Low for their final grade. Loris' stress levels rise at the thought of not being done in time, if only his brain didn’t betray him and this study was written in actual words that made sense, Loris would be able to finish the damn thing in time and not feel like dying.

Something slaps against the desk, Loris looks up to see what it is. There was a folder sitting there, a smug Emre and the words, “in fact I've finished them all Karius you judge-y asshole.” 

Loris narrows his eyes at him, ok maybe Loris deserved that but he couldn’t believe his eyes. “All of them,” he asks, because wow was this the same Emre Can who sauntered into class in sunglasses and then fell asleep at his desk, Loris wasn’t even sure if he knew what module they were doing. 

“Right well you can leave I don’t need you sitting there and fucking judging me back when I'm trying to make sense of this fucking bullshit,” he grips the papers so tightly he’s surprised they don’t tear.

“Jeez calm down,” Emre drawls in his casual laid back fashion. He's makes his way over to the bed and sitting down on the edge of it. “Let me see,” he holds a hand out for the papers. This time there’s no excessive touching of his fingers; Loris doesn’t understand why his heart sinks. 

He feels tense sitting on his own bed behind the other man, watching Emre read a case study. It was perfectly normal but the hair on his arm has stood up and his heartbeat felt a little too fast. Emre doesn’t move for a while, immersed in the papers he was reading leaving Loris slightly amazed. After a while he nods and scoots backwards on the bed sitting right beside Loris. 

“You got a pen?” he’s still hyper-focused on the papers as Loris hands him one and watches him underline things that made no sense to Loris. Occasionally Emre puts the end of the pen between his lips in thought, his forehead scrunching up in concentration, just two thin lines indicating he was deep in thought. Loris does his best not to focus on Emre's lips around the pen so he turns his head to the ceiling and remembers the breathing exercises from the one time he did yoga. 

“This one is hard,” Emre pipes up after a while, breaking the somewhat awkward silence in which Loris spent trying not to focus on the heat beside him. Instead he clicks around randomly on his laptop which did nothing to distract him from the fact that Mr Sunglasses was sat right beside him. He doesn’t even understand why it drives him crazy but it was and he doesn’t know how to get out of the situation. 

When Loris turns to look at him, he's kicked of his shoes and his jacket and he looks relaxed in his baggy white t-shirt that somehow clung to his bicep but fell over the rest of his features. 

“I know, I've been staring at it forever,” Loris tells him. 

Emre nods, “well we aren’t all geniuses Karius,” he says playing. Loris smirks back before Emre explains what he had found out from the study. Loris looks at him while he's talking, the way his perfectly defined jaw moves, and the way he explains things thoroughly but clearly, and how he licks his lips in between words or bites his bottom lip in thought.

 _Shit_ _,_ Loris realises as his heart pounds.  _Shit, shit,_ _shit_ _._

“You don’t........you don’t even have a pen,” Loris says to him slightly confused. 

“I can't concentrate in class,” Emre says absentmindedly opening a presentation document on Loris' laptop like he owned it. Loris nods and watches Emre read the last case study, jotting down annotations occasionally. 

*

The presentation goes well. Emre is a good public speaker and seeing as he understood more of the content than Loris did, he knows what he saying. Most of the class ends up heading to the bar two streets away for celebratory drinks and Loris is in dire need a beer. 

Dejan is slumped down on the table and miserable because apparently Mo hadn't finished his deadlines yet so they had no time for hang out. Loris is sick of his that pout on his face, “cheer up Dejan, he hasn’t died” he nudges him before sticking a beer in his hand. Dejan sticks a finger up at him. 

The bar is mostly full of people having a late lunch, it was pretty quiet apart from them. Loris lets the beer soak into his body, loosening his limbs and all the tension in his spine from leaning over papers and books as relaxes against the back seat. One of their classmates is fidling with an old jukebox, eventually getting it to play abba or something Loris distinctly recognises. 

Normally he wouldn’t see a student dead in here, but the drinks were cheap and it was ideal for daytime drinking and well who could fault a working jukebox. Some other guys were playing pool with some kind of bet going on and some others are playing darts. He thinks about going to the club party later if he can bothered but he’s broken out of his thoughts when someone sits down across from him. 

Loris turns his head but Dejan seems to have disappeared but when he looks straight ahead Emre is lounging in the chair his legs spread, spine pressed to the back of the steel, one hand wrapped around his beer that’s resting on the table, the other one in his pocket. 

Loris nods at him, giving him a closed lip smile. Emre smiles back, lifting the bottle to his lips and taking a sip. 

“Shit music in here,” he starts. Loris nods slowly. Was he really going to small talk with Emre Can, the dude he couldn’t stand for a better half of a year, that was until he sat on Loris' bed like he belonged there. 

“Good presentation, you’re good at...speaking.” Loris cringes straight away.  _Why did he say that_ _?_  It didn’t even make any sense. Emre laughs, his eyes lighting up and his jaw defining. Loris gulps down another sip of beer. “Want another?” he indicates towards the beer, trying to get away so he could regain his composure and die of embarrassment in his own privacy; maybe look for Dejan. 

Dejan would make the awkwardness more bearable apart from Dejan was nowhere at the bar and Loris checks his phone he finds a text from him saying that he had to go do something important which makes him snicker.  _Yeah right._  

The lone bartender is busy attending to a group of girls at the other end of the bar. Loris scrubs a hand through his hair as the anxiety of re-attending the table washes over him, he could walk straight out the door and avoid Emre for the rest of the time. Apart from that was shitty and Loris was done being an asshole.

And the thing was Loris didn’t want to walk away. He just wasn’t good at this. He just about managed to befriend Dejan years ago but Loris was terrible at the whole socialite thing. In fact, the whole thought of the social scene gave him immense anxiety but after the other day Emre deserved more than being stranded in a stingy bar.

He gets two beers and hesitates walking back to the table.  _Fuck it_ _,_ Loris thinks Emre had the right to judge him now seeing as Loris hated him for reasons even unknown to himself. He hands Emre the other beer, their fingers brushing against the bottle before sitting down. 

“Why'd you come here,” Loris asks. 

“Drinks,” Emre replies simply. Loris internally screams when Emre licks his lips. The realisation from the other day was also another reason he simply couldn’t walk away. Even if he did say awkward things. 

“You know, you err...surprised me,” Loris says after a long while of staring at the wooden table, and maybe occasionally glimpsing at Emre's fingers fiddling with the beer bottle label. 

“Surprised you?” Emre leans forward in his chair, interest suddenly peaking. 

“Yeah I don’t know... I just thought you wouldn’t come through with your side of the project. I mean you never gave me any reason to think you'd even open the first page let alone understand the topic.” 

Emre doesn’t say anything just processes the words, sipping his beer slowly. “That’s why you shouldn’t judge asshole.” Loris laughs.

“Lesson learnt,” The look Emre is giving him makes Loris' skin hot. 

“I uh- I work all night,” Emre says slowly, looking at the table, not meeting Loris' gaze. “I work two jobs, one at a club on weeknights and another at a coffeeshop two blocks over, by the time class rolls around on a Monday I can't stay awake enough but I study in between shifts and at the coffee shop when I get time. Even at the club when I'm on shift. I might not listen because Low is boring as all hell but most of the time I've read ahead anyway.” 

He says all of it to the table. “Is that why you’re always late?” 

“Pretty much yeah.”

“So, when do you sleep?” 

“In class,” Emre meets his gaze and laughs, “I nap during the day when I can.” 

“Why two jobs though?” Loris asks mentally slapping himself, “shit sorry you don’t -,”

“It's fine,” Emre runs his fingers over the wooden ridges in the table, “I uh- I can't afford this place- not really. People don’t really make it to college where I come from but I just always wanted to get out...so I did,” he trails off. 

Loris well and truly feels like an asshole now. He realises he was an asshole, to someone who didn’t even deserve it. Emre was out here working his ass off and meanwhile Loris took his whole life for granted. His parents could afford to pay his tuition and he could afford to buy things without working his ass off and here he was judging someone he didn’t even know. 

“I'm sorry for being a judge-y  asshole,” Loris tells him. Emre tilts his head back and laughs so freely, Loris' gut twists when sees the corners of Emre's mouth curled up and the sparkle in his eyes. 

“Yeah well, the hard to get attitude was kinda hot,” He looks at Loris when he says it biting his lower lip with the slightest up turn of his lips. 

Loris doesn’t know why or how but he reaches forward and brushes his fingers Emre's on the table, “I still fucking hate your guts,” Loris says, his voice low and gravelly. 

Emre winks at him.

*

Emre turns up at his dorm two days later with a coffee. Loris isn’t doing much apart from listening to music and scrolling through his phone. Emre sits down on the side of the bed startling the life out of Loris who hadn't heard walk him

“What...,” Loris stutters. “What are you doing here?” he asks clutching his chest. 

“Brought you a coffee,” Emre hands him the cup which Loris takes with a look of confusion. 

“I uh...thanks?” He sits up against the pillows,  closing his laptop sitting in awkward for a silence for a few moments. Emre is looking down at the floor, and Loris stares at the opposite wall. He doesnt know what to say or do. 

“I -I'm gonna go,” Emre points towards the door, getting off the bed, “um- enjoy the coffee,” his face twists up after that and he puts a hand behind his hand in embarrassment. It was cute. 

“Emre,” Loris calls before he gets to the door watching him spin around on his heels to face him again, “want to watch a movie?” Emre smiles so widely at him walking back towards the bed where Loris scoots over making room for Emre climb onto it next to him.

They're pressed together from shoulder to thigh and Loris is hyper focused on that fact as he searches for downloaded movies. It drives him just as crazy as the last time Emre was sat on his bed but now he understands why.

“Why did you bring me a random coffee?” Loris asks as the opening credits roll on the screen. 

Emre shrugs, “I thought turning up your door randomly would be weird-,” 

Loris laughs at him, “that’s cute Can.” 

“Eh don’t being saying things like that I have a reputation.” 

“Sure you do,” Loris tries super hard to focus on the screen instead of the angle of Emre's jaw. “Who was the girl?“ he asks casually halfway through the movie. 

“What girl?” they had both slumped down against the pillows, the room was dark, the last of the daylight fading away. 

“At the lake,” Loris says chewing on the skin near his thumb, not looking at Emre. 

“Oh, just a friend. Why? Were you jealous?” 

“No,” Loris denies a little too fast. Looking back maybe he was feeling jealous, maybe that’s why he was so annoyed. 

“Sure you weren’t Karius,” when Loris turns his head to look at him Emre is smirking. 

“Shut up,” Loris threatens but it comes out as a whisper instead. 

“Make me Loris,” Emre whispers back and then he has a hand on Loris' chest and he's leaning forward. Loris closes his eyes when Emre presses his lips against his own but he pulls back too soon.

He looks hesitant and unsure so Loris slots a hand into his hair and pulls him forward again. Emre licks into his mouth making Loris groan at the contact; shoving the laptop off to the side somewhere so Emre can climb on top of him and press Loris right into the mattress while he kisses the life out of him. 


	9. Chapter 9

Making out with Emre becomes a daily occurrence for Loris. Emre comes by his dorm in the mornings after he's been for his daily swim before he starts his shift. Loris wonders how he fits it all in while he himself managed to eat once a day and then called it quits on all other life activities but he stops thinking when he’s pushed up against the door. Hands trace over his skin making him moan when Emre kisses him. 

Loris pulls away from him and Emre buries into his neck sucking along the line of his throat, Loris laughs throatily, “wait,” he giggles. 

“Hmmm,” Emre kisses the side of his throat. 

“You haven’t even taken me on a date yet,” Loris says towards the ceiling. 

“Wasn’t the bar a date?” he pulls away, “and the movie?” 

“The bar wasn’t a date,” Emre has his hands on Loris' hips, nosing against his jaw. 

“Why wasn’t it, I told you things about me I don’t really tell anyone, it was a date.” 

“That was so cheap you didn’t even buy me a drink. And the movie was at mine too. I want a date from you.” 

Emre nods, “you want a date,” he murmurs moving in closer, Loris smiles against his lips. 

“Mhmm,” he kisses Emre again. 

“Can the party later be a date?” 

“No asshole, I want a proper dinner or something. No drunk twats and crap music. I’m not cheap Can so get it together.” 

“Fine. We are going to the party right.” 

“If we have too. I hate parties but I wouldn’t miss this one for the world." 

“Why?” 

“End of year free alcohol and guaranteed drama.” 

“What if I gave you a reason not to go.” 

“And what is the reason.” Emre grinds his hips against his own and when Loris’ fingers shake on the grip of his t-shirt; Emre has a pleased look on his face. 

“Maybe not the world,” Loris breathes, very turned on. 

“Thought so.“ 

* 

Max avoids parties for the rest of semester. He focuses on getting his assignments done, gets some dinner with Loris and watches him flirt weirdly with the guy with perfect hair and a perfect smile. If Max wasn’t hooked on Leon and Loris wasn’t high key in love with the dude, Max might have tried his luck with him. Though he does look like he could crush Max under his thumb so he isn't sure it would go pretty well. 

He doesn’t understand Loris’ whole deal with him, the last he’d seen of them they were avoiding each other and right now he doesn’t care. He’s rummaging through a bunch of clothes trying to find a good pair of jeans but none of them look good enough and more than three have a stain on them, Max didn’t like laundry, sue him. 

“Yo Max you done,” Loris bellows at him falling through the door with way too much energy and a beaming smile. 

Max shakes his head biting his lip in thought. “Dunno what to wear,” he continues scanning over the t-shirts in his wardrobe. 

“Just throw on anything,” Loris says a little breathless which is weird. 

Max turns around, slightly concerned only stood in a pair of shorts, to see Loris on the bed with his tongue down Mr perfect hair’s throat. Max blinks once, very confused before turning back to his wardrobe and pulling on a pair of grey wash jeans and a white t-shirt. He couldn’t claim to be the best roommate he was so focused on putting all his energy into his assignments and his job at the café that he’d completely overlooked everyone around him. 

Max hums looking himself over in the mirror in the bathroom before gelling his hair, the outfit would have to do besides it was only a party with way too much booze, he doubts anyone was going to focus on his outfit, but he still wanted to look good. 

He walks out of the bathroom to see Loris and Emre sat up on the bed, “We going or not?” Max asks pulling his trainers on and heading towards the door. 

The end of the year party is in full swing when the three of them get there. Someone shoves a red cup of something into each of their hands which Emre takes and dumps in the bin getting them all a capped beer instead. Max walks through the house, finding himself in some sort of game room where he spots Mats and Marco talking amongst themselves. “Where’s Mario?” he sprawls out against the colourful couch placing his feet on the rest. 

“Gone with Benni to get some snacks,” Mats tells him. Max takes a sip of his beer nodding in response, scanning over the room. There weren’t too many people in here but the base of the music thumped through the walls making his head pound. Max was out of this place in two days, finally going home for the summer which he was grateful for; his first year was great but also an emotional rollercoaster and he needed a break. 

He stretches his arms along the top of the couch barely listening to the story Mats and Marco were telling until the couch sinks next to him. “Hey,” Leon says too low to properly hear over the music. 

Max turns his head slowly, gulps past the emotion in the back of his throat and makes to leave. 

“Max wait,” Leon pleads grabbing his wrist and pulling him back toward the couch, “please I just want to talk.” When Max looks around, most of his friends are making their way out the door leaving him alone with Leon. Marco and Mario stay on the other couch at the bottom of the room out of earshot and he knows they're staying to jump in if he needed. 

Reluctantly he sits back down on the couch holding a beer between his hands, “You good?” Leon asks awkwardly. Max fiddles with the label of the beer bottle not looking at him and shrugs. 

“Missed you,” Leon breathes voice below the music but Max hears him, he blinks twice and takes in a breath. “Can you talk to me please. You just cut me off and it- what did I do Maxi?” 

Max makes the mistake of turning his head towards Leon and seeing his stubbly jawline and the shine in his eyes. “You were an asshole,” Max turns his eyes away from him. 

Leon looks at him in stunned silence for a second. “You broke up with me over text Max, no explanation, nothing.” 

“We were never together anyway so what does it matter.” 

“We-,” Leon stutters, “it was shitty Max.” 

“Why do you care so much,” Max half yells in his face, rage burning behind his eyes. “It wasn’t important, we were never a real couple, so I ended it’s not like you ever cared.” 

“I always cared about you Max, I cared and then you broke up with me and I had to live without my best friend for months. Without even a word from you.” 

Max scoffs trying to leave again. “So that’s it your just gonna throw our entire friendship away because what Max, because you think I didn’t care, after everything.” 

“No because you slept around with other people, you didn’t a give shit about me, so don’t fucking sit there and lie.” 

Leon deflates after that, Max stands stock still looking at him while he stares at the floor. “I thought that’s what you wanted,” he says after a while, so slowly and quietly Max has to strain to hear him. 

Max slumps onto the edge of the couch, “I didn’t,” he breathes. 

“Then why didn’t you tell me.” 

Max shrugs, Leon was right, all they had to do was talk but Max was afraid and it cost him his best friend. 

“i just- I thought we were open, we’re young and I don’t know, college is-hard. All we had was each other back home and coming here was always going to be different, I just thought that-,” 

“That if we weren’t tied down, we couldn’t hurt each other.” 

Leon nods, they had never spoke about this before now. “I’m sorry,” Leon breathes. “I didn’t realise I was in love with you until you sent me that message, that was my last hookup at that party months ago Max I promise. Fuck, I wish you told me, I didn’t want anyone else but I think I was just avoiding what this really meant because if you didn’t feel the same way it would have destroyed me,” he puts his head in his hands. 

Max sighs and moves over to him stroking a hand down his spine, “I think we both fucked up but I want to be more than an occasional fuck” he lifts Leon’s chin. 

“I think we’ve always been more than a fuck, but we’re too dumb to realise it.” They both laugh then before Leon leans over and presses his lips against Max’s. 

Max puts a hand on his cheek pulling him closer and groaning into his mouth as Leon licked into his mouth before he leaned back against the couch and pulled Max into his lap. Max breaks away and grins down at him leaning their foreheads together before kissing Leon vigorously again pulling at his bottom lip and elicting a moan from him. 

* 

The rest of the guys walk back in after a while. 

“Finally got it right huh?” Mario asks getting a grin from Leon in response. Mario reaches over and hits the back of his head. “You ever screw my Maxi over again I'll kill you Leon.” 

Leon looks at him bewildered and speechless and Max likes his incentive, drunk and slurred as is it. 

“We're good Mario,” he buts in to save his boyfriend’s head and to let Mario know that everything was finally ok. Everyone said college was hard but losing his best friend because they couldn’t admit they were in love was hard to top. Spending the summer with Leon as his actual boyfriend was something he couldn’t wait for. 

“I mean it,” Mario continues, “I’m small but I have fire. Like a dragon. Don’t tempt the dragon Leon. I’ll burn you.” 

“Ok babe, he gets it,” Marco says from his other side, trying to stifle a laugh and failing because Mario looked completely serious. 

“I’m a dragon,” he tells Marco. 

“Yeah babe. Here drink this.” Marco hands him a bottle of water and tries not to cry from laughter. 

“I won’t hurt him Mario,” Leon reassures, rubbing the back of his head with one arm around Max’s shoulder and Max looked cute and content to finally have what he wanted. 

“You better not. Fire remember.” 

“Don’t think I'll ever forget,” Leon murmurs under his breath which rises a chuckle out of Max leading to Leon looking at him with something very close to fuck me eyes but thankfully only ends in a heated kiss. Marco does not need to witness that on top of his boyfriend’s drunken comparison to mythical creatures. 

Now that Max was happy finally and Mario was drinking something that wasn’t a shot Marco leans back and takes in the entire year. It had been a wild ride but he’d met some ride or friends. Lewy comes over with Anna tucked under his arm looking extremely happy. “Marcooooo,” he drawls. “I love you.” 

“I love you too Lewy.” 

“This is Anna.” Marco shakes her hand and shares a giggle with her over Robert’s inebriated state. “Nice to meet,” you he tells her before hugging Robert who sits down beside him with a thud pulling Anna down too. 

Benni and Mats and Loris and Emre also make their way over with Dejan and Mo joining them a while later. 

“Can’t believe we survived a year of college,” that was Benni. 

“Can’t believe we have to do it again in three months,” Mo says. 

They all laugh and raise their bottles to the well-deserved summer. 

* 

Mats scans his eyes over the room laughter drying up as he realises Benni was nowhere in sight. He excuses himself from Mario’s tight grip on his shirt; he was slurring something at Mats that he couldn’t quite catch. He walks towards the door and past what seems like a million drunk people through the huge house. 

Benni isn’t anywhere in the house, Mats checks everywhere before walking through the backdoor to cool down from the scorching heat of the over packed house. “Hey,” Mats jumps out of this skin clutching at his shirt over his heart. 

“What the-,” 

Benni giggles, “it’s not funny,” Mats protest. Benni was leaning against the wall beside the door, water bottle in hand one hand shoved in his jeans pocket. It was a look that made Mats want to push him right against the wall and kiss him. 

“Been looking for you.” 

“Needed some air.” 

“Yeah.” 

Mats had a beer when he arrived but that was all. Too concerned about keeping an eye on Benni apart from the other man hasn’t really touched a drop either. “When are you going home?” 

“Tomorrow,” Mats tells him walking over to stand beside him welcoming the warmth even though his skin still felt overheated. 

“Same,” Benni tilts his head back against the wall. “Thanks,” Mats looks at him confused for a minute. “I know you’ve been keeping an eye on me, making sure I'm fine, and I am I promise...just thanks. For being a good friend.” Mats gulps past the lump. 

“You’re my best friend. You’d do the same for me right?” Benni nods titling his head towards Mats, blue eyes concentrated on him. 

“I am fine you know.” 

“I know.” 

“You have that look on your face.” 

“What look?” 

Benni doesn’t respond just raises his brow and smirks a little. Mats bites his lip and wonders if he should say something. Mats figured that Benni wasn’t stupid but he doesn’t know how to the say words and he doesn’t know whether the other man even wants to hear them. “Party's boring,” he says instead. 

“Lets go then,” Benni leans off the wall, opening the door to walk back through the house and out the front entrance. Down the pathway Benni nudges his shoulder into Mats, “gonna miss you Matsi,” and Mats smiles so wide. 

“Me too.” 

“Maybe we can meet up and hang out for a while,” and it seems like Benni has a small glint in his eyes or maybe it’s just the moonlight playing tricks on him. Mats thinks he has some time to figure it all out. 

“Think I can find some time for that,” Mats smirks. “ykno, in between all those busy days of drinking and doing nothing at all.” He had the entire summer to figure out how to tell Benni he’s been in love with him for the entire college year and he was going to do it right. It still felt too soon after Ralf but the summer was new and fresh and Mats has an inkling that Benni already knows anyway. All he had to do was be his charming self and hope for the best. 

Benni loops an arm around his shoulder, steering him into an all-night coffee shop, body right against Mats’ own. “well when you find some free time maybe you can pay some attention to me.” 

“Already pencilled into my summer diary; pay bucket loads of attention to Howedes.” Benni laughs and kicks him under the table as the waitress places their drinks on the table and when she walks away Mats shares a small smile with the other man. Maybe he’ll ditch the ticket home and accept the invitation to Benni’s right away. 

They sit there in the warm homeliness of the empty coffee shop bar the waitress and talk and giggle and in the morning, they walk back to the dorm, Benni tucked under Mats’ arm, warm and happy and his smile lights Mats’ whole heart on fire. 

“That's a good first date Matsi,” Benni whispers on the street as the sun rises in the distance. 

Mats heart soars as he pulls him close to place a kiss against the side of his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in fic everyone gets a happy ending because real life fails to do so....  
> but anyway we're done, thanks to everyone who read and commented and left kudos.  
> thanks for all the love xx

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading <33


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